I'm never right.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Witty_Sarcasm, Apr 9, 2013.

  1. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I thought this might be a bit cathartic to get out...and to look at things in a reasonable way not based solely on emotion. Well, I've been in a crisis state lately, which led to me wanting to isolate and just leave the site. A few people advised against this, and it does make sense. I just figured if I was on my own, no one could hurt me...but I'd probably end up hurting myself. In fact, I really considered it last night, and I was all alone. The usual people I would talk to were all gone, and I feel odd striking up a conversation with someone I don't know. Besides that, I usually internalize when I'm upset, so I didn't want anyone to really know I was in such a state.

    I have no real life help, my family only helps me to become more negative and sink further into destruction. Any friends I had are long gone, or I can't reach out to them. On my Facebook page, most of my friends are people I know in real life, but I couldn't be able to talk to any of them about how I'm feeling. The only support I really have is here, and that seems to be dwindling. People I thought were close friends have seemed to abandon me, and won't give me the slightest clue as to why. Have I done something wrong, offended them, or they just got sick of me? I don't know because no one will tell me. Maybe people are afraid to hurt my feelings, but I'd rather be told the truth than be left in the dark. Otherwise I'll feel like I did something wrong and feel like a worse person. If I have done something wrong, they should tell me. I think I'm a good friend and don't purposely hurt anyone, so what gives?

    I've been abandoned since before I was born, and it still happens all the time. So I have serious issues with this, and with being alone. I can't really open up about how I feel because if I do, then I'm crazy. Then I'm too sensitive and negative and emotional. If I don't open up, I'm being difficult and cold and distant. So that's lose/lose no matter how you cut it. I'm running out of ways to cope and nothing seems to be helping. All I want is just to know that someone still cares. I have not much to live for, but I need a reason to keep going. I don't know if anyone will read this or care, but it does help to "let it all out" as it were.
     
  2. snarrylover

    snarrylover Well-Known Member

    I'm scared of saying the wrong thing but I'm going to post anyway because, whether you believe it or not, you are important and you do mean something.

    I've seen you give out great advice to people on this site, which makes it all the more wrong that you have to go through this. I don't know you in person and we live in different countries but you seem to be so nice and caring. It's obvious you've made effort after effort only to be rewarded with dead ends. It's unfair. I wish you were surrounded with better people.

    I hate the world for rewarding those who are nice on the surface but rotten on the inside. There are a lot of selfish people, horrible people, or people who just don't care or don't understand. I believe the people closest to you do care, but that not-understanding is keeping them away because they simply don't know how to handle people like you and me and everyone else on here.

    I wish there was some advice I could offer you, or words of encouragement, but you've probably heard it all and more. All I can simply do is think about you and care and hope you're OK. I know we only know each on this forum but, honestly, if you stopped posting and if you weren't here...well, I'd notice and I'd worry and I'd pray you were alright.
     
  3. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure if you'd regard me as a friend or not. We have talked a little in PMs. I've never been sure if you're just being kind in talking to me, whether really you'd rather not bother. Once or twice I've PMed you 'hello' the next day but no response. Just in case I'm one of those referred to in your post this is why I'm hesitant
     
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Thanks snarrylover, that was very kind of you to say. And it does help me feel better, just a bit.

    No Theo, I wasn't referring to you in my post...sorry if I gave that impression. I was thinking of someone who's avoiding me completely, or maybe a couple of people, without rhyme or reason. I'm just coming to the realization that I've been used once again, but it doesn't affect me too much, because I'm used to it by now.
     
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I do care as well, and think it is unkind for someone to not be forthright about what s/he is feeling...how does one repair a relationship when s/he does not know what the other person is perceiving? That is an awful position to leave someone in...sorry this was done to you
     
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Thanks Sadeyes..I think the worst part is that it happens to me so often. As if they think ignoring the problem or avoiding me completely is going to fix anything. But then I think they can't really be a great friend if they don't even want to talk things out.
     
  7. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I can relate to what you're saying, recently someone from here contacted me and wanted to be friends but then when I got my hopes up on friendship the person stopped talking to me...now I think that was the person's plan to raise people's hopes and then let them crash with no response...I think it's wrong of people to do that...

    with the few friends I have I try to stay in touch daily, but if I've had a bad day or just don't feel like talking, I can wait...but I expect my friend to let me know if they feel I've hurt them in some way, how am I supposed to be a good friend and not do whatever hurt them if no one tells me....

    I agree with snarylover because I've seen you give your input everywhere and making a difference...you made a difference on my threads, I was happy you left a comment there, made me feel accepted and not alone
     
  8. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Sorry to hear that happened to you...and I'm glad that I've been able to help you. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here...and I wouldn't do what other people have done to you. I've known from too much experience how much that sucks, and I'm not that type of person anyway.