I everyone. My name is Thomas. (I'm really creative when it comes to usernames). I decided to join this site because I need help. My best friend since 7th grade killed himself three years ago. We were both 21. It was the worse thing to ever happen to me. I try and try to find ways to get over it but it still weighs me down. I have so much trouble talking about it with people too. Maybe the wall of the internet will help me break out of that. As a result I'm anxious and scared. I don't think anything will ever work out. I'm scared to meet new people and make friends. All the things I used to like (basically everything I did with my best friend) I don't like anymore. Life has gotten better in the past three years. I got married to the most beautiful, wonderful woman in the world. but still, my friend's suicide weighs me down... Sometimes, I want to join him. Not as much as I did 3 or 2 or even last year. But still, I wonder how I'm supposed to carry on or how things can ever get better. I fill like there's a hole in my being. I look forward to connecting with you all. I feel like what few family and friends I have don't know how to help me. They have never gone through what I'm going through. They still love me and care about me but still.