Hi, jgirl!
I've been down the ECT road myself, so I know what a toll it takes on the ole' memory. Six years later I'm still doing exercises to work on improving my memory. It's been a very slow process, but it's gradually happening. I had about 60 ECT (give or take a few) over the course of a year and a half. Then one day, within hours of just having scheduled my next one, they suddenly and without warning pulled the plug on them. To say I was shocked would be an understatement, and it came at the worst possible time. When I asked why they were all of sudden stopped they said "because the side effects were becoming too apparent". They never specified what side effects they were referring to, and I couldn't even think to ask, at the time. I can only assume they were referring to memory.
They went on to have me do a full day of tests (32 of them to be exact) that took 7hrs straight (out of the 8hrs planned) to do in their attempt to see just how impacted I was by the treatments. I consider myself an over achiever in the thinking dept anyways, but I must admit my brain was complete mush by the end of that day of testing. It was cool to see the results, though. I wish I could remember (the irony) what that particular set of tests was called, but it was very comprehensive to say the least. (Your doc would probably know what this set of tests is called.)
I want to believe your doc is really trying to do what is best for you, and that if he feels it is going too far (as happened in my case) that he would stop you from doing them. Maybe you could ask your doc that if he's noticing the side effects becoming to 'apparent' would he insist they stop the treatments? Have you asked if there is anything else you could try, too? Maybe you could work on some memory exercises or things that will help improve your memory while doing the treatments (as an attempt to counter the effects)? It may not help a whole, whole lot, but I would think it certainly couldn't hurt all things considered.
I didn't take to meds too well, either. I had tried countless different meds and combo of meds over the course of about 10-12yrs. At that time they couldn't find any others I could try because I had already tried them all, so I asked to be taken off all my meds five years ago. It turned out that it was only after I got off of all of them that I came to realize they had actually only been making me worse all along. I improved immensely once I got off of them! They are helpful to some, but definitely not for everyone.
Bottom line, I would encourage trying to be as proactive as you can about this which is why I encourage you to ask your doc more questions.
Hope you get this figured out!!
All the best!