I'm new here...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by justthatguy, Jul 24, 2015.

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  1. justthatguy

    justthatguy New Member

    And I'm really struggling. I've just had a lot of shit piled on top of me recently. People are lying about me, they said I did stuff I didn't do. I'm seeing things, and they won't go away. I know they're not really there but they just won't go. They just keep staring, I'm trying to shut them up but they won't shut up. I fucked up real bad with it and I hate myself for it. None of my friends reply to my messages, maybe they told them or maybe I said something then they told each other. I'm just sat alone at home with my family but they're hiding something from me, I think they might hate me, maybe my friends talked to them and they all hate me. My parents know I see stuff nw, I broke down to them today, but they said it will pass and I need more sleep. I can't get sleep thou, because that's when they make the most noise. The thing that made me happiest today was an email from gmg thanking me for buying a game, I almost cried when their auto-generated email said I was awesome. I haven't received a genuine compliment for months now. I'm just trying to ignore all the insults I get from them but I can't. I just need a rest, and I can't get rest in my sleep, because they're in my dreams. I just can't stop it. I've tried the doctors but they said to come back later each time. The only place I thin I can find rest is death, and I'm really close to getting there, but I don't want them to be right about me, they say I'm a quitter, a loser. I'm just trying to hold on and prove them wrong but I'm losing. I just need help.

    I tried to get on here earlier but I kept putting it off, I just thought I could deal with it but I just had a breakdown today and realised I can't.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi i am sorry you feel so alone I hope you continue to talk here ok I hear you
  3. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

  4. justthatguy

    justthatguy New Member

    Thanks both of you...I just need ppl to talk to to help me with this
  5. whydoes

    whydoes Member

    I do not understand, completely. Are there actual people calling you names, or are your "hallucinations" calling you names? What makes you not trust your family?
    I know what that feels like, though. I also know what it feels like to loose all your friends.
  6. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Sorry that theyre bothering you too much. I somehow have the ability to tune them out.

    Yeah its a good day for me I do have bad days.

    As long as you are trying, ask doc for some type of sleep meds as you describe what i go through day and night and nights are the worst for me. They become more physical and threatening. But when I take one of my sleeping meds they dont rouse me from deep sleep. Its an blissful escape for few hours.
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