And I'm really struggling. I've just had a lot of shit piled on top of me recently. People are lying about me, they said I did stuff I didn't do. I'm seeing things, and they won't go away. I know they're not really there but they just won't go. They just keep staring, I'm trying to shut them up but they won't shut up. I fucked up real bad with it and I hate myself for it. None of my friends reply to my messages, maybe they told them or maybe I said something then they told each other. I'm just sat alone at home with my family but they're hiding something from me, I think they might hate me, maybe my friends talked to them and they all hate me. My parents know I see stuff nw, I broke down to them today, but they said it will pass and I need more sleep. I can't get sleep thou, because that's when they make the most noise. The thing that made me happiest today was an email from gmg thanking me for buying a game, I almost cried when their auto-generated email said I was awesome. I haven't received a genuine compliment for months now. I'm just trying to ignore all the insults I get from them but I can't. I just need a rest, and I can't get rest in my sleep, because they're in my dreams. I just can't stop it. I've tried the doctors but they said to come back later each time. The only place I thin I can find rest is death, and I'm really close to getting there, but I don't want them to be right about me, they say I'm a quitter, a loser. I'm just trying to hold on and prove them wrong but I'm losing. I just need help. I tried to get on here earlier but I kept putting it off, I just thought I could deal with it but I just had a breakdown today and realised I can't.