Im new here..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by anthony_k, Aug 26, 2008.

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  1. anthony_k

    anthony_k New Member

    Sorry i've never been on a forum before but this is my last stand.
    I'll tell you a bit about myself, and my reason for these suicidal thoughts.

    I just turned 18 in february and i've been feeling like my life is in shambles and I even thought about it and I feel like my life isn't worth living. My friends recently who have been around me and there for me are ignoring me. A year ago I met a girl that i've been talking to from 10:00 PM to 5:00 AM and I built feelings for her but suddenly she started ignoring me and hanging up on me. I felt used for those reasons like my presence was just for un-needed company, but I felt more bad about that girl, now she doesn't talk to me at all and I have no way of contacting her. I did find a girlfriend and we were together for a very long time and we thought about marrying when we finish school and college. We felt like we were meant for each other but...now she's never been seperated from me for this long. She used to call every day twice and talk to me after work and school, but she now only calls at night before she sleeps just to say good night. She usually doesn't hang around boys but now she sort of do. Aside from my personal life, my college kicked me out for unsufficient credits for a couple classes and my parents are threatening me by kicking me out of my house but I try to persuade them, it worked momentarily, but my family hates me living here. I stayed in a good university for a few months but now i'm left to go to night classes for a couple years at community college. This affects the money that I'm using for school so i'm forced to find 2 more jobs. I have no time for a girlfriend but she didn't seem to care, we didn't break up because I still love her to death.

    I haven't felt this horrible in my life, nothing compares to the suffering i'm dealing with now. I know i've been strong enough to live this long, but maybe umm..2-3 weeks ago i've been having severe thoughts of suicide, every single day. I just...need...a shoulder..to cry on


    Thank you for listening, comments of help are appreciated
     
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Good Morning Anthony,
    Welcome to the forum!! I give you credit because even thow you are in pain emtionaly you are still wanting to get back into college. You definatley are pursuing the right path. Now adays you need that peice of paper to land a good job!!
    I had a good paying job with excellent benefits Plus quarterly bonuses. I had an emotional break down, which cost me my job. I haven't been able to do much since the breakdown. I don't wish this on anyone. You live in constant fear that you will commit, When you get that low you need to contact your doctor or go to the hospital and tell them you are in crisis. They can contact your doctor and find out what regiment of meds you are on.
    Putting your relationship on hold so you can concentrate on school is a very wise decision. You can tell you girlfriend that you need to slow down so your focus is strictly school. Ask her if she wants to stay friends after the breakup. hopefully she will see what you are talking about and agree with the break up..Take Care!!:chopper:
     
  3. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF.

    Seems like you've been pretty unfortunate. Have you explained to your girlfriend about your current situation and that you may have to take up 2 jobs in order to support yourself. See what she says and take it from there.
     
  4. anthony_k

    anthony_k New Member

    She just says she doesn't care and that she still "loves me" its really complicated, I asked her if she still wants to marry and she said yes but im still not sure. I've told her everything about me but not that i've become suicidal, and that my parents almost kicked me out the house. She does have alot of sympathy for me but I wouldn't want her to worry about me.
     
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    If nothing else tell her you won't get to see much of her for the next little while. Explain about having to work two jobs and attend school. You won't have much spare time. Tell her she means alot to you (which is obvious how you feel) And you just need some time. Explain That you want to finish school so you can land a descent job that pays well. Any how you tell her what you want. I was only giving some ideas! I'm sure you can take care of it because you seem to be a sensitive type. Good Luck..:chopper:..
     
  6. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    It's a tricky situation cuz of the past events like when she would hang up on you
    and ignore you. You don't know for sure if it will happen again. I guess thats when faith and trust trully kicks in. If she truly cares for you and loves you then i'm sure she will wait for you whilst you finish your education off.
     
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