hi im new and ive tried and failed miserably to kill myself about 5 times now. Ive suffered with clinical depression for a long time and only now do they want to do something about it. I read a thread on here about like after death and so glad to hear that so many people have the same view as me... once your dead, your dead, nothignness, like before you were born. There's nothing to imagine because not 'being' is unimaginable. This plays such a big role in my depression amongst other traumatic events in my life that life seems pretty pointless if when ur dead ur dead. But no one gets it. They just tell me to enjoy like for what ive got cos u might only live once. But I just cant wrap my mind round WHY! It would all be for nothing, no one would remember it anyway and in a billion years time, we'll all be long forgotten. So choice 1: get up, go to work, monotonous living with a few perks, debt and what not and maybe randomly get hit by a bus anyway. Or choice 2: end it all now cos its gonna end one day anyway, cept you can control it now. The only thing stopping me, is fear of the unknown. I cant IMAGINE nothingness! And once you decide to go down that route, there's no going back. I feel so torn. I dont want to hurt my family, but they'll be hurt one day when i eventually die anyway, so.