If I had the power to play god, to either bring prosperity or to wreak havoc upon this world, I would be no different than the very people I hate. Short-sighted, power hungry sociopaths who would do unspeakable things for power. Politicians, people in my class, so-called leaders. If I could, I would wipe every one of them off the face of the earth. Exterminate the cancer. But, how would that make me better than them? I would laugh as rivers of blood flowed, my hatred for the world that had rejected me and wronged me in so many ways taking control of me and clouding my thoughts. The few morals I still hold on to would be lost, and I would be no better than them. and yet, I feel as though I would recognize it happening, but do nothing about it. I would embrace it, and I would become a monster, even more so than I already am. I would enjoy the feeling of the white-hot hatred of this world controlling me and ending the lives of many. I would march at the forefront of an unholy army meant to destroy the society that made me what I am. Basking in the fear that people have for me, as I feared them. I would feel empowered, finally. To have the power that I always craved, to end or give life to whoever I deemed worthy or unworthy. I'm disgusting, and I'm no better than the psychopaths of this world. Ugh. I'm just going to say it straight. Throughout middle school I fantasized about killing those who caused me pain. there were a lot of them, and I had a plan to take them hostage in my school and terrorize them before I killed them. I had a list. Some would be tortured, shot in the kneecaps and such. They would all fear me, as I had the power to choose whether they lived or died, and I would tell them all why I was doing what I was doing. Obviously, I never did it, because I didnt have the resources and because it was just wrong. This is the first time in 6 years that I've admitted this openly to anyone but myself, and it's been eating at me for a while. The worst part was was that I enjoyed playing out their deaths in my head, hearing them beg, and listening to them die. I wanted to prove to them that I was better than them, and they were stupid for thinking otherwise.