I'm not an addict

Discussion in 'Therapy and Medication' started by VALIS, Feb 20, 2009.

  1. VALIS

    VALIS Well-Known Member

    I mostly come to this forum to discuss medication because people in my life who know I'm bipolar either think I am not bipolar or consider medication to be like alcoholism. I need to talk to people who are going through the same thing.

    Even my own boyfriend says things like, "everyone needs something to self-medicate, you've just found one that's legal.."

    I don't consider myself to be addicted like a drug addict or an alcoholic but recently somebody found out that I take a bunch of pills (antidepressant, 2 sleep meds, bipolar medication) and called me "drugged out"

    I don't like this, people see me as a normal person with a pill habit. It's so disturbing that they won't believe me when I say I am bipolar and that taking medication is the only way I've ever been able to function properly and to avoid severe depressions where I can't even get out of bed. CAN'T get out of bed.

    I am crying right now because I wish I didn't need pills to be stable. I wish therapy could help me but it's no use to me. chemically I drop down to the depths of a quiet hell without my medication.

    And I'm alone in my illness. People call it "pharms" like it's a party drug experience. It's no party and I wouldn't wish major depression on anyone in the world because it's not living it's just hanging in limbo under a Bell Jar...in a fog...disconnected...blurred

    In another time, if I was born elsewhere or in the past I would probably have killed myself
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I really hear what you are saying. That must be so hard, it's almost like they are invalidating all you go through.

    I wonder if maybe educating people about it might help? Having said that, it may just be that they are in denial over how ill you are, and so don't want to understand.

    Have you ever looked into maybe support groups in your area for people with bi-polar or mental health problems in general? Maybe that might help you feel less alone?
  3. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I just want to smack people who view psychiatric meds as on par with methamphetamines. It's bullshit. I don't know what else to say... It pisses me off that people react to my meds [much milder than yours] the way they do...
  4. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    You have been prescribed that medication for a reason, doctors don't give out meds just for the hell of it.

    Would they still consider you to be 'drugged out' if your medication was for a more visible illness like diabetes?

    That's how my cpn & psych explain it to me, I need my meds to function just like a diabetic or asthmatic needs theirs.

  5. Beret

    Beret Staff Alumni

    Hun, I do understand you very well. Im also bipolar and BPD and do take mood stabilizer, 2 anti psychotic, anti depressant, and sleep meds. I have been in hospitals, have done therapy, have quit my meds many times and I have come to the conclusion that taking my meds and doing psychotherapy works well for me. I still get severly depressed and hate live :sad: but I truly believe that things r getting better. Dont let ohers interfear, dont stop taking your meds, both of us might need them longer, perhaps even for the rest of our life.
    Stay strong :hug:
  6. SpencerA

    SpencerA Well-Known Member

    what you said there rings so true to me.
    i've had every different type of therapy available and the only thing that keeps me round about stable are my meds.