http://destinationdesperation.blogspot.com/2010/06/short-life-story.html that's for anyone who would like to know how I got to here. I'm basically giving up because I'm not the person I'd like to be, and I will never live a life I desire. If you could at least read the last bit "In a nutshell" I'd be greatful. I want to end it painlessly in my sleep but it's apparently not that easy. I'm not in pain or depressed. I just have no reason to live and would rather stop now than 60 years tome being in the same position I am now.