Im not depressed, I just give up

http://destinationdesperation.blogspot.com/2010/06/short-life-story.html

that's for anyone who would like to know how I got to here.
I'm basically giving up because I'm not the person I'd like to be, and I will never live a life I desire. If you could at least read the last bit "In a nutshell" I'd be greatful.
I want to end it painlessly in my sleep but it's apparently not that easy. I'm not in pain or depressed.
I just have no reason to live and would rather stop now than 60 years tome being in the same position I am now.

 

Read it all. You've had a hard life. There's nothing inspiring I can say, only that I read your story and tried to imagine everything that happened, what you went through up to this point and that it must have been hard. I hope you won't give up just yet, at least until you get to know some of the nicer members here.

Welcome to the forums, there are people here that have had similar stuff happen to them and hopefully you can find at least a little bit of solace here.

 

I read it all .....
I wanted to ask if you've ever had therapy ....it might be a good idea for your aggression towards women.....to deal with the feelings of what you saw/endured as a child....and to help with the suicidal feelings you have....
there are other choices besides ending your life...
i hope you'll keep reaching out here...