I'm 15. Everyone says I'm too young to know what I want. But I do- ever since I was 11, I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts and tendencies. At first, I blamed it on hormones, on my parents breaking up. I think it's a bit more than that, though. I don't really know why I want to die. It's not like I even have a bad life- I don't. And that knowledge just makes me feel guilty for my emotions, which in turn makes it all worse. It's a vicious circle. I saw a doctor about it, and he diagnosed me with depression and recommended that I see a counsellor. My mum refused to believe that I had a problem, and won't let me go. Everyone says its just hormones, that it'll settle down, that I'm too young for everything and that I'll grow up, and that isn't really helping! Maybe it is just hormones, but my dad gets severe depression, and my mum had it too, so there is a high chance that I do have mental issues. To top it all off, I compulsively lie to all my friends, and I'm absolutely terrified of... Well... Everything. I guess that fear attributes to the suicidal feelings. It affects my everyday life. I can't be home alone, I can't be in the dark, and I have difficulty looking in mirrors because I'm scared there will be things in them. I can't dry my hair because my eyesight is poor, and I rely on my hearing. A loud hairdryer means I can't hear my surroundings, and I start crying uncontrollably. I'm not stupid, or anything, you can probably tell from the way I'm writing. I know I'm clever- it's the one thing I have any talent in, but it also puts me under huge stress. If I don't get A* in something, it's relentless teasing from all my 'friends'. Well, this was a pretty much pointless post, but it's nice to let all of this out somewhere, I can't talk to anyone else. Any help, comments, etc, would be greatly appreciated.