I'm not even sure what made me depressed

It's weird. I used to be such a happy person, and I took such joy in my work. I'm 20 years old, currently a college student studying film, and I'm set to graduate in a year and a half. The depression didn't really set in until sometime in October, and since then my life took a complete nosedive. I started interacting with my friends less and less, my academics started to slide, and I just stopped being the happy, optomistic person that I used to be just a few months ago. I broke up with my girlfriend a month ago, and I've been pretty much on autopilot since then.

How do I get myself out of this horrible downward spiral? It's so strange, I have absolutely no reason to be depressed, but bam, it sneaks up on me. I don't find joy anymore in the recreational activites that I used to do. Everything is just so black and hopeless. I just want to stop existing, it hurts so much especially considering that I used to be a much happier person just a few months ago. Now I feel worthless and alone.

I have some possible reasons why I'm depressed, but I don't know if they caused my depression or was brought on by my depression. Career doubts, personal failures, the whole shebang. Bleh. I need someone to talk to. I know I can easily turn my life around if I just found personal happiness in myself again, but I have no idea how to do that. Everything I tried (work, exercise, hobbies) only helps temporarily.

 

YOu can talk to a councilor at your school ok talk to them get some support Also talk to your doctor get on some meds even if it is just to pull you out of the darkness ok until you get yourself back on track again. Use all the help you can
Could be the stress upset the levels of chemicals in your brain and getting on meds will help to get you stable again

Talk ok to your doc get a therapist but reach out now so you don't go deeper into that hole hug

 

you know maybe your missing some nutriments, and there's a gland in your brain that produces chemicals to help you be happy so that could be low and why you got a depression...perhaps have some tests done first to rule that out. It might just be imbalance and you can get balance by taking supplements...

if not, then maybe you can see a doctor for depression and see what alternatives are there for you....

for me I've noticed that my recent anemia made me more depressed...so I'm working on that...are you anemic?

 

There is always a reason for our bodies and minds not acting as they should I think... even if its not readily noticeable. Perhaps you are not getting the amount of vitamins or minerals your body needs... this can be found out by a simple blood test, sometimes things like iron deficiency or Vitamin B Complex deficiency (to name a couple off the top of my head) can cause us to feel depressed. Something like this can be fixed by adding supplements to your diet and/or by changing your diet. Perhaps for whatever reason your brain is not producing enough dopamine and/or seratonin or other endorphines/hormones. These are chemicals in the brain that allow us to regulate our moods a bit (specifically in the area of depression). In this case, sometimes an increase in exercise can help, sometimes medication can help. Other times aromatherapy and other treatments can help. Could simply be a matter of genetics... in which case it is very likely you will need medication. Depression and mental illness in general has all types of reasons it happens.... its not just by life events or life changes, though those are the most common of reasons. I suggest you continue the search... try different types of psychotherapy, different exercise routines, getting out in the sunlight more can help, try putting yourself in more sociable environments, getting a psychiatrist and try out all the diff meds that could possibly help you, get a nutritionist or doc to see if all your vitamin and mineral levels are what they should be or if you need to increase your intake (or possibly decrease your intake) on any of them. There are foods that can be avoided to help you avoid depressive feelings and other foods that can be eaten to help aid you in coping with depressive feelings... do some research and find out if that may help you. Some people have found success in more unconventional therapies such as aromatherapy, accupuncture, accupressure, deep muscle massage, chiropractic care, homeopathy, marital arts, yoga, etc... the list is very long as to things you can do to help... best thing to do is to do some research and see what may help you most and keep trying things til you find what works for you. We are all unique individuals with unique life experiences, unique thoughts and feelings, and unique genetic makeup, therefore.... what works for you will not necessarily be the same thing that works for others, but most likely will also be a unique combination of things.

Keep up the fight and take care of yourself.