I'm not feeling happy anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by brokecollegekid1995, Oct 17, 2016.

  1. brokecollegekid1995

    brokecollegekid1995 New Member

    Over the last year or so I haven't felt happy at all. I'm a senior in college and up to this point I've been a fantastic student. I had a 3.9 GPA in a tough program at a top school. I have a great and supportive family, though not many friends. In high school I was great at golf, and that was one of my main hobbies, but I don't have much time for it in college. The beginning of this year has just been awful. I got my first ever C in a class, which destroyed my GPA down to a 3.8. Now my odds of getting into the grad school I wanted are next to none. This girl who I've come to love has ignored me again and again for no good reason, and I deleted her on Facebook out of sheer anger. There's nothing in my life that I'm happy about anymore. No time to do anything I enjoy, just slaving away at work and hardly getting rewarded for it at all. I just feel empty and unloved. I've never kissed a girl, and although I'm doing ok academically I still don't feel happy about it. I wish I could play golf my whole life and not have to worry about anything else. I feel stressed 24/7 and I don't know if there's really anything I could do to make myself happier. I'd never kill myself though, that would absolutely devastate my family. I just don't feel like living a boring, empty life. I don't know how to change it. I don't know how to find love, and I don't know how to start feeling better about myself. I've always prided myself on being a fantastic student, and getting a C when I had a 79 and a C is from 65-79 makes me feel that much worse. What do I do now?
  2. brokecollegekid1995

    brokecollegekid1995 New Member

    Sometimes I wish I could die though. Whatever is on the other side, good or bad, is assuredly better than right now. Nobody loves me, nobody cares about me except for my parents. I'm just another blip on the universe's radar anyways. I may be smart and clever academically, but I'll never accomplish anything truly noteworthy. I'll never find love. Why bother?
  3. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Hey there. Understood and hear what you're saying. Just letting you know that grades means nothing in the real world. Post college no one asks anyone what grades they got. Ive long forgotten what my GPA was now 10 years ago. :-/

    Cant you play golf on the weekends? Join the local range as where I am at golf everywhere. there's golfing clubs or teams etc. There is more to life than school. Take a break take a mini weekend getaway and enjoy your hobby to refresh your focus?
    IdontMatter111 likes this.