I'm not getting better.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by CatScratchFever, Aug 1, 2010.

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  1. I'm fucking cracking up again. You know, when the thought of killing yourself is soothing and, ironically, the only thing that actually keeps you alive. Do I wanna kill myself? Truthfully? I don't know. I actually don't know. It's always been my plan B. It keeps me calm. No matter how crappy things are, I can always end it, you know?

    I've lived like this for ages, and it's been almost two years since my last suicide attempt. Every time I self harm I'm tying strings och cloths to myself to keep pressure on the sores. I can't go to the hospital, since they never would just stitch me up and send me home. I don't wanna go back to the psych ward. I'm fucking cracking up.
     
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Asa. I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time in your life right now. Try to resist the urge to self harm if you can. I know that the urge can be unbearable, but try your best. Cutting is such a destructive way of coping with the pain. Please don't give up. :hug:
     
  3. I only wish I could find another way.
     
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    There is always a better way than cutting. :hug:
     
  5. Of course there is. Not as effective, though.
     
  6. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    There are other ways to deal with things. Like admiting what is making you feel the way you do, and deciding to do something about it. For me it was the poor relationship with my folks. It was killing me! So I admitted it and decided to repair the bridge I had tried so hard to burn. Hope this helps. And I used to be a self harmer, it took a while but dealing with emotions isn't nearly as scary or bad as I had once thought. I sure did not deserve the punishment I was inflicting on myself. Change begins with you, remmeber that. Blessings..
     
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