I drink because sometimes I just feel numb. It isn't a compulsion or something out of control. God damn, it's so fucking hard to be alone after awhile everyone is just out to get you because goddamn they ain't your friend. Loneliness is the real fucking killer, they blame alcohol but we should know better. How do they do it? I mean those pretty girls and beautiful women. So effortlessly they glide through life with a smile, soft skin and those hips. I always look at the eyes and nose of a girl (I'm scared of women, I tried I know). I mean that girls I can deal with, someone who's not so sure or not so set. That un-assured smile of dependence for satisfaction, I like it because I can recognize that. Not for exploitation or something but because I sympathize with that. You're not a man until you've loved, so I'm no man. I don't mean anything, it's all a joke to me because I'm just a joke. I gotta cock and a smile, when we meet I'll try not to stare.