I'm not sad.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Beka, Jan 2, 2014.

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  1. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    I am not sad. I am not depressed. I am, okay SOMETIMES I'm anxious enough for it to make a difference in my everyday life.

    I am empty. I don't have feelings. I am a ghost. I hear strange things in the night and my mind tells me things that make me paranoid.

    I don't necessarily want to die, I feel like I want to be in pain. I want to be punished for my complete and utter apathetic view towards everything.

    If I were locked away it wouldn't be a terrible thing.
     
  2. the black raven

    the black raven Well-Known Member

    Depression have many forms, and yours sounds like depression to me....
    You and I are alike, in a way, I feel that way too, but mine is more like a numb, dull pain, and I can't even feel the pain.

    It's very different to other's "depression" but it is still depression.
     
  3. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    There are many things, depression, axiety....I have PTSD, not depression, but that's what males me sad.
    But hey, we are here for you and we care for you? :Hug:
     
  4. Jarrett

    Jarrett Member

    I feel the same way most of the time, and i am currently dealing with more or less the same issues, just with more anger... I fine the best way to get this out of my system is working out but that's how i deal with, maybe its because you lack a drive in life or something. Also another thing try changing your eating habits, may sound odd but getting out the bad food in ones system makes your body feel better, not your mind but your body will make more dopamine as a result ( which natural lifts ones spirits ).

    the voices i get to sometimes, if your getting these voices do your self a favour and try to stay away from all drugs/alcohol because it can throw people over the edge, happen to my uncle ( mainly talking about illegal drugs, also not talking about weed :p )

    As for the punish pain thing, do you mean this is a sexual way or as need ?

    anyway hope this helps,
     
  5. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    I don't specifically have depression. I'm Borderline Personality according to several psychiatrists. I can't always help but think maybe it's more. I feel like I don't have the same reality as everyone else.
     
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