This might sound like a ridiculous rant. I am sure that nobody here can relate to me. I am sure that most of you don't care. That's fine. You don't have to reply. I'm just ranting, because I don't have anyone to talk to, and this is the only place I can vent.
A month and a half ago, I lost the woman I loved. Ever since then, my life has been utter shit. I have nothing to live for anymore. I have no friends. No lover, and no prospect of ever finding another. My so-called family "pretends" to care by sending me the occasional text message. Yeah, well, fuck them. Fuck them all. I don't need anyone. I'm used to being alone. I don't fucking need ANYBODY.
Look, I get it. I'm a boring, angry, lonely pathetic fuck. Nobody wants to talk to me. That's fine. I don't care. But it fucking pisses me off to no end when complete strangers judge me without knowing anything about me.
I went out for a cigarette this morning. As I was walking back to my apartment, there was a woman outside walking her dog. Middle aged woman, rather ugly, dressed in her pajamas. I paid her no mind. I'm used to strangers ignoring me, and I ignore them in turn. But this woman didn't just ignore me. She takes one look at me, and quickly rushes away in the opposite direction, as if she's afraid of me.
WHAT THE FUCK DO I LOOK LIKE, A FUCKING RAPIST??? I'M NOT A FUCKING RAPIST. I'm not a robber, a serial killer, an abuser, or anything of the like. Why the fuck do seemingly normal people flee from me like I'm the goddamned antichrist? I'M NOT GOING TO HURT YOU. I'm far more likely to hurt myself than anyone else. WHAT THE FUCK???? That pisses me the hell off. That some woman, who doesn't know me from Adam, just assumes that a guy walking around outside HIS OWN APARTMENT BUILDING at 8 a.m. wants to rape her. Jesus Christ lady, I'm a 34 year old virgin. No wonder I'm a virgin. Obviously I give off a "rapey" kind of vibe or something. No wonder most women avoid me like I'm radioactive. I'm just a fucking sad, pathetic guy trying to survive in a fucked up world. I wouldn't hurt a fly unless it tried to hurt me first. I certainly wouldn't ever dream of hitting, mugging, or raping a woman. But APPARENTLY people think they have "good instincts", and they just love to judge pathetic losers like me. "It's the quiet ones you have to watch," they say. In the words of George Carlin: "I'll bet you anything that while you're watching someone quiet, a noisy one will fucking kill you." Hey, lady - you're more likely to be raped by your date, your creepy uncle, or even your own husband than you are by a random guy who just happens to be walking back into HIS OWN APARTMENT, IN BROAD FUCKING DAYLIGHT after smoking a fucking cigarette.
I find it MORE THAN JUST A LITTLE IRONIC that the WORLD doesn't trust ME. After everything this life has thrown at me... and I'M the bad guy. Right. Keep telling yourselves that. Whatever helps you sleep at night.
End rant. You can now go back to enjoying your lives without me in it. Don't feel any obligation to reply to this. But please, do me a favor... if you see me walking down the street... don't cross to the other side of the street, or clutch your fucking purse, or whatever. God damn. I'm not going to rape you, mug you or kill you. I'm just a guy trying to mind his own fucking business. I am not that fucking scary.
A month and a half ago, I lost the woman I loved. Ever since then, my life has been utter shit. I have nothing to live for anymore. I have no friends. No lover, and no prospect of ever finding another. My so-called family "pretends" to care by sending me the occasional text message. Yeah, well, fuck them. Fuck them all. I don't need anyone. I'm used to being alone. I don't fucking need ANYBODY.
Look, I get it. I'm a boring, angry, lonely pathetic fuck. Nobody wants to talk to me. That's fine. I don't care. But it fucking pisses me off to no end when complete strangers judge me without knowing anything about me.
I went out for a cigarette this morning. As I was walking back to my apartment, there was a woman outside walking her dog. Middle aged woman, rather ugly, dressed in her pajamas. I paid her no mind. I'm used to strangers ignoring me, and I ignore them in turn. But this woman didn't just ignore me. She takes one look at me, and quickly rushes away in the opposite direction, as if she's afraid of me.
WHAT THE FUCK DO I LOOK LIKE, A FUCKING RAPIST??? I'M NOT A FUCKING RAPIST. I'm not a robber, a serial killer, an abuser, or anything of the like. Why the fuck do seemingly normal people flee from me like I'm the goddamned antichrist? I'M NOT GOING TO HURT YOU. I'm far more likely to hurt myself than anyone else. WHAT THE FUCK???? That pisses me the hell off. That some woman, who doesn't know me from Adam, just assumes that a guy walking around outside HIS OWN APARTMENT BUILDING at 8 a.m. wants to rape her. Jesus Christ lady, I'm a 34 year old virgin. No wonder I'm a virgin. Obviously I give off a "rapey" kind of vibe or something. No wonder most women avoid me like I'm radioactive. I'm just a fucking sad, pathetic guy trying to survive in a fucked up world. I wouldn't hurt a fly unless it tried to hurt me first. I certainly wouldn't ever dream of hitting, mugging, or raping a woman. But APPARENTLY people think they have "good instincts", and they just love to judge pathetic losers like me. "It's the quiet ones you have to watch," they say. In the words of George Carlin: "I'll bet you anything that while you're watching someone quiet, a noisy one will fucking kill you." Hey, lady - you're more likely to be raped by your date, your creepy uncle, or even your own husband than you are by a random guy who just happens to be walking back into HIS OWN APARTMENT, IN BROAD FUCKING DAYLIGHT after smoking a fucking cigarette.
I find it MORE THAN JUST A LITTLE IRONIC that the WORLD doesn't trust ME. After everything this life has thrown at me... and I'M the bad guy. Right. Keep telling yourselves that. Whatever helps you sleep at night.
End rant. You can now go back to enjoying your lives without me in it. Don't feel any obligation to reply to this. But please, do me a favor... if you see me walking down the street... don't cross to the other side of the street, or clutch your fucking purse, or whatever. God damn. I'm not going to rape you, mug you or kill you. I'm just a guy trying to mind his own fucking business. I am not that fucking scary.