Its sunday. 29th May - or however its said correctly. In 6 days i'm turning 18 years old - and just like that i'm supposed to be grown up and knowing. In August i'm starting on a new school, far from home. I'm scared. Like, REALLY scared. I'm not sure .. I cant be on my own. I may be turning 18, but i'm still 12 on the inside. I dont know ANYTHING. What am I supposed to do in life - live or die? I'm so scared all the time, i'm mad .. but mostly im sad. Nobody seems to notice, they all think i'm just .. i dont know, angry or childish. I dont have anyone. No one to talk to, no one really understands - and when I tried talking to my friend she couldnt make it more clear that she was judging me. Life. I dont get it. Not sure anybody does - not even the "smart" ones. :zombie: feel like i just walk around half dead all the time. I'm always in my room. Havent been going to a school or job since February. I'm a loner - thats certain. I like being alone - or with animals. Well, rather pets maybe. My mom .. Actually, everybody, they all keep pointing out everything thats wrong with me - and I mean everything. Not sure why im writting here, but its just been more and more scary - everything. I dont want my childhood to end - and i dont wanna leave the safety of my home. I'm on the edge of tears all the time.