I'm not sure if I can do this any longer.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by xxObliviatexx, Sep 25, 2012.

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  1. xxObliviatexx

    xxObliviatexx Member

    Hi. My name is Desiree, and I am fourteen years of age. I'm new to this forum, but I guess I should go ahead and post. You see guys, I have tried to commit suicide four times now. I am bullied, and harassed horribly every day because of it. Also because I'm overweight, because of my scars, because people spread rumors, and just a whole bunch of other reasons. I'm not exactly sure what to say, but I think I'm going to try and commit suicide for the last and final time tonight. I see no reason to live, at all. And people say the same advice over and over, but it's not worth it anymore. I'm sorry. I don't know what to do, but I think it's my time to go.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You know what to do hun you TALK to your parents to the teachers you talk to your doctor and you keep talking until someone listens and helps you. You are only 14 ok see if you can be home schooled Don't let these bullies win hun one day they wi ll be gone and you will never see them again You will make a life of your own hun

    You talk to someone ok you call the cops on these bullies and make them pay for the pain they caused you the police won't stand for this kind of behavior hun You keep talking here ok hugs
  3. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Well honey, I don't know if that's you in your avatar, but whoever she is, she is beautiful, and even if she isn't you, you are still beautiful honey - all the more so for reaching out and asking for some help here. I agree, it would be a good thing to take you away from the bullies for a while, and to ask your parents to get you some good professional help to see you through this time. I remember how it was when I was a little older than yourself, not knowing how on earth I would make it through, there was so many things I did not understand.
    But - there is a wonderful reason to live, honey. I promise you there is. It is worth doing ALL you POSSIBLY can (like telling your parents you need them to sit down and listen to your feelings right now) to still be alive. No one can be absolutely certain after all that after death there is nothing - far better to tell your parents the whole truth about how you are feeling honey and what you feel you need, right now - warm hugs to you :)
  4. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I am going to sound like SUCH an old age pensioner when I say this....but when I was your age I was having a HORRIBLE time. I was bullied, spotty, I cut all my hair off and got bullied for it, I was self harming, depressed and generally upset all the time. I couldn't go to lunch without having rubbish thrown at me, some comment made, I got attacked quite a bit.

    I'm 25 now and although I've been through horrible things in my life, I wouldn't have missed the good parts of my life for the world. What I'm trying to say is, people are going to lie to you and say that school days are the best days of your life - which, I promise you, is a CROCK OF SHIT. Things are going to happen to you that you never could have dreamed of, it does get better I promise you. I was such a pariah at school even the eleven year olds made fun of me! Now, they are all either knocked up, have a bunch of kids by different men, drunk off their heads or on cocaine. It does get a lot better as an adult and I can see from your photo you are an attractive girl, so there really is no need to call yourself overweight - you look good.

    If you ever want to talk about anything please PM me, I've had so much experience with what you just described, I'd be glad to talk to you xxxx
  5. ksmith86

    ksmith86 Well-Known Member

    Oh my god I hope you didn't do it yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    First of all, Desiree, Highschool + middleschool are BULLSHIT. Everybody has problems there, and the ones who don't usually end up loosers later on for some reason. Life was a living hell for me in middleschool. The worst part is, you don't know any better because it's all you've ever known. I'm telling you, it's temporary! Once you graduate and see what the real world is like... you'll kick yourself.

    And if you want the best long term solution, (everybody is gonna hate me for saying this) just loose weight. It's easy if you don't make excuses. If you calorie restrict to say 500 or 1200 calories a day you can loose as much as 25 lbs a month. Really only takes a week or so to get used to it. And seriously every 10 lbs you drop you'll notice the whole world treats you differently. When you finally get close to your ideal weight *poof* magically the world is a wonderful place to live where everybody is nice to you. You just gotta make the decision to do it! Sucks that that's how the world works, but what are you gonna do? Pretty people have got it easy.

    Eh but you're gonna have to wait until highschool is over before life get's awesome. Your reputation just spins around and around in there with no place to go since it's the same thousand kids running around together for years. Once they disperse into society you'll become anonymous again and nobody will know who you are :) Fresh start!
  6. xxObliviatexx

    xxObliviatexx Member

    Yes, my avatar is me.
  7. xxObliviatexx

    xxObliviatexx Member

    I shouldn't have to lose weight for people to treat me nicely for once.
  8. xxObliviatexx

    xxObliviatexx Member

    To everyone,
    my parents will not talk to me. In fact, they beat me. I still feel suicidal, but it just keeps getting worse. It's like it's the only answer..
  9. crunchie

    crunchie Well-Known Member

    You are a beautiful girl! If your parents beat you, tell someone. You deserve better than that!
    Suicide is not an answer. It is just the end. You will get nothing out of it.
  10. I had suicidal thoughts when I was only a year older than you, and although its been 5 years i still remember them well and know what you're going through. I too couldnt go to my parents, for different reasons. I know how tough it gets, I know how alone you can feel but believe me it can get better. You are still so early on into finding yourself, you have so many brilliant thoughts to have, so much life to offer the world. As you mature over the next few years, I promise you will become closer to knowing who you really are, who you want to be. You will have dreams, ambitions and aspirations. You are suffering now but when you get through it you will be so much a better person for it, with the emotional intelligence held only by those who have known true sadness. As we all grow up we learn who we are and we come to terms with our existance, please don't deny yourself or the world of who you are meant to be. Theres a place for you, theres a place for all of us. Now the hard part is finding it! Speaking from experience though theres alot better places to find it than school. I won't patronise you, life is tough, theres a reason too why im on a suicide forum. We can all fall off the bandwagon and find ourselves lost. A year ago I was happier than I've ever been and now im back in the deepest state of despair. It happens, to some of us more than others and I hope we can all find the strength to survive untill we find something for ourselves truly worth living for.

    Stay strong and give it some time, please,
    Your comrade in crisis.
  11. Finance

    Finance Well-Known Member

    When you're 40, the high school crowd is really entertaining. Classmates who were supposed to be cool are fat, bald, broke, etc.

    You see how stupid the teachers and people were. Meaningless jokes.

    Adult life is just as bad, with a bit more understanding of how laughable some people are.

    Hope you get feeling better.
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