I'm not sure if this is a crisis or not... feels like one...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by gwalchmei, Mar 19, 2012.

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  1. gwalchmei

    gwalchmei Well-Known Member

    I got divorced from my (now ex) wife 6 years ago. It was very messy. She ran away from my son and I for a year, found a boyfriend, came back and then filed for divorce.
    Four years ago, I met another woman, got engaged, and from a combination of the new woman's reticence to commit (she had been in very abusive relationships prior to our meeting), as well as significant interference from my ex wife, she broke off the engagement.
    We have both since had kids separately; I with my ex-fiance, and her with some dude that ran out on her the moment he found out she was pregnant. My ex and I have one son together.
    For the past year and three months, my ex wife has been cozying up to me. Even to the point of my daughter and her daughter becoming best friends. They both always ask me when they will get to play together, next. She even asked me to look after her daughter when she would go to the store or run other errands. I would go and buy things like medicine, clothes, toys, etc. at mom's request. (Actually, the toys were mostly my idea - I like getting toys, trinkets, games, puzzles, etc. for the kids). I would take them to restaurants, outings, even gatherings with her own family.
    Recently, my ex wife suddenly cut off contact. She claims it is because she is "angry about issues we had from the marriage". I have heard this song and dance before, however. It usually translates to "I have found some new prospect, so I'm shoving you out of my life". She is trumping up these issues to get me out of the way because she has (probably) found some guy she thinks is rich and "successful", as she puts it.
    Except now, my daughter and I are very close to her daughter. And now, my daughter and I may possibly never see her daughter, again. My daughter has asked me several times if she can see my ex's daughter. After the second time I had to tell her "no", she cried.
    I'm not here to ask whether or not I should try to win back my ex. I'm not asking if there is a chance between us.
    I just want to know this: is what my ex wife did evil?
  2. Anneinside

    Anneinside Well-Known Member

    It wasn't very nice. I wouldn't expect her to change. It is unfortunate that your daughter is hurt by her actions too. I would be very honest with her and tell her that her friend's mom doesn't want them to be friends anymore but you don't know why and it wasn't her fault. She may be thinking that she did something wrong. Your primary focus needs to be on your child's well-being.
  3. gwalchmei

    gwalchmei Well-Known Member

    That's pretty much what I tried to do.
    My daughter cried on and off for about 2 hours.
    She's ok now.
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