im not sure if this is considered abuse...

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Entity, Apr 30, 2009.

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  1. Entity

    Entity Well-Known Member

    Okay. my name is Katie.. my stepbrothers name is derek. he is only my stepbrother by my mom and her partner.
    we started a relationship sort of.. i really really liked him and i told him that..
    let me start from beginning..
    i pretended to fall asleep and he came in my room and passionatly kissed me.. that was my first kiss ever. and from there i told him i owed him a kiss from there. so i kissed him back.. longer this time.. and he touched me and fingered me and stuff.. and i gave him a hand job. and that went on for about a week.. we were caught. the following weekend. there was a hickey on my neck.. and our moms found out. from there he said he didnt like me anymore.. and then a week later he said he liked me again. and then we kept doing stuff.. and i wasnt really okay with it.. but i let him anyways.. and then he said that he loved me. and when we were old enough he wanted to marry me. and a couple weeks ago. he said he didnt love me anymore or even like me in that way. but he kept wanting to do stuff so i let him.. even though i didnt want to. i lied to him and told him it didnt bother me.. but lately its really been getting to me.. im scared of him.. i told him all my secrets... and when i refused to give him a blow job. he told my sister (who is 7) one of my secrets.. and im afraid that if i dont give him what he wants now.. then he will keep telling ppl my secrets. so for right now i have to keep doing things with him.. even though its killing the already dead me inside.. i think its better to have just one person upset than to have both of us upset right? so i will have to keep giving in to him.. and letting him use my body as his playtoy
    my secrets are too much to have other people know. i have confided with him about everything..
    he knows i drink, si, am suicidal, and am bi... and i cant have others know that... i just cant..
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 30, 2009
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    It is blackmail.
    You need to get out of this 'relationship' (don't know if I can even call it that). If he's going to say your secrets..he will do it regardless of anything you do now. Tell him 'no' the next time, if he pushes and pushes tell someone.

    As always Katie,I'm here if you need to talk.
  3. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    This seriously is abuse and I'm really sorry that such a horrible thing happens to you.
    I know it is hard but please stop this, tell your mom or someone who can help you about it.
    The longer you keep giving in to him the worser it will get.
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    They're right; you need to get away from him. I know this is hard to hear, but chances are, he will tell your secrets at some point anyway.
    Can you talk to a family member about what he's doing, and maybe talk to them about your secrets too, so that you can get some help.
    Please talk to someone, don't let him keep abusing you.
  5. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    AGREE!!!... with all advice given above. Stop, and deal with any secrets he might reveal as they come up, if they do. The potential for an escalation in his abuse is there if you don't stop now.
  6. sickntiredx4

    sickntiredx4 Member

    Yes this is abuse and it will keep on until you put a stop to it. Talk to a counselor. Get help telling your parents. Tell him NO and to leave you alone. Don't let anybody keep things hanging over on you. Who are they going to believe if he tells your secrets? You or your abuser? You can stop him by standing up to him and quit letting him use you like this. Get somebody to kick his ass for you! If I were there I'd do some really good ass-kickin' for you. Nobody has a right to touch you if you don't want them, too. Hell, I'm mad enough to kick some ass right now over this! :mad: I'm sorry you're having to endure all of this. Please get some help somewhere with this. :hugtackles:
  7. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    i think you know its wrong hun, and i think your strong enough to brake this, i think you should confide in your parents, they can help you. i know the thought of him telling your secrets is stopping you, but what will happen if tehy get out? your world wont crash to hard, it may be a shock for your parents, but it just means they can help you now.
    you shouldnt let him have this control over you hun. maybe ask your therapist how is the best way to stop it.

    also what he is doing is statutory rape as you are underage and he can go to jail for what he is doing to you. you are not in the wrong he is
  8. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    I think you should tell your parents, since you mentioned they found out about you two before.
  9. sithspit

    sithspit Well-Known Member

    You know my feelings on this hun.

    I'm here for you
  10. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear your story - sounds like a nasty situation. Just want to say I agree with the responses by forum members. It's certainly not easy to face down a blackmailing abuser, especially if you're feeling vulnerable as it is. Believe me, taking the first courageous step will make you feel great, and put an end to this suffering. He's a bully trying to keep you weak so he can selfishly use you - he couldn't do that if you felt strong.
    Please tell your parents. Let us know how it goes, if you like. Wishing you all the best.
  11. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    Oh yes, it is abuse...

    I agree with everyone else - Get out! I know it is hard - he must have some secrets you are ashamed of ..and you are ashamed of this secret too....

    Your Moms already know it had started, tell them, if you can...tell someone who can help you stop it.

    Part of the giving in, is that you have gotten into the habit of not fighting for you. You automatically allow it, like turning a switch off to your real feelings. Your feelings matter fight for yourself.

    So, before you are in the actual situation where you "switch off" take care of it by telling someone else, and determining in your head...THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN....If you say it over and over to yourself before he is there with you, it will be easier to say when he is trying to control you.

    Please take care of yourself - get out, it can only get worse.
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