I'm not sure what to do...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Klaus_the_Olive, Nov 4, 2015.

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  1. So, I've had suicidal thoughts for a while now. Some days I don't think about it too much, other days I question why God has forsaken me. And its the oddest thing that makes me want to die. Odor. BO. I've been putting up with bad BO for 6 years (basically, since puberty). Now, my parents were kind enough to skip out of the deodorant lesson when I was growing up, so I learned it from my gym teacher. But deodorant doesn't work, antiperspirant or not. The main reason why I've been letting this go on for 6 years is simple: I didn't know. No one told me I smell at all. I found out by rumors and people talking behind my back within earshot of me. I've changed every single habit you can think of to try to adjust this. Deodorant, shampoo, soap, new socks and shoes, a whole new wardrobe of clothes, new detergent, shower twice a day, I even have to force myself to not fart. Nothing. Now its getting to the point where none of my old friends will talk to me anymore, and (more recently), I'm at jeopardy of losing my job. I now have 3 days to make myself smell like fucking daffodils and I just don't know how. If I lose this job, i won't be able to pay my student debt from when I failed college twice. And I can't save up to move out. But when January rolls around, my mom is going to kick me to the curb. Homeless and jobless. I I have 2 months to prevent that, but I have 3 days in order to keep my job.
    Put that on top of the fact that I have nothing but failures leading up to this, and you've got a guy daydreaming about hanging himself on the overpass. I need help, but i don't know what to do.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You need to talk to your doctor and get a referral to a specialist to find the cause of the odor what is causing it ok only a specialist can help you find that and treat it so talk to your doctor let doctor know how it is affecting your life your job
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I agree with total eclipse, you need to see a specialist and get to the root cause of the problem. I can't imagine what it is like to live with bo. I hope you get this resolved, keep us updated.
  4. Update: I did go and see a doctor about this, not a specialist however. I don't even know what the specialist would be called. But the doctor I did see just kept giving me the same ramblings everyone else does. "Eat healthy. Clean clothes. Try new deodorant. Wear more shirts underneath. Use different soaps". Nothing I haven't heard before, and exactly what I knew would happen if I saw a doctor concerning this. The only deodorant that does work costs 25 dollars, not something I can afford often.
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