So I'll say this: When I have personal problems, I consider suicide. The specifics of the personal situations, including the latest that has brought me to this psychological state, I have found to be largely irrelevant. I posted last year about similar issues. Tonight it has grown into considering specific plans. After reading the FAQ, I understand it to be inappropriate to discuss methods, so all I can say is that the ideation has become quite specific. Specific implements, specific places, specific times. I don't want to say that I am in any danger. That being said, these thoughts and feelings are hideous. I suppose all I want is to talk things out with someone. Even as I write this, I wonder if I'm in the right place. I wonder why anyone would want to hear anything I have to say or write. I peruse the other threads in this section and others, and I wonder how serious my problem is. I find myself wondering if my situation is even an issue. So many others that have posted here seem to have it much worse than I do. Some are nearly crippled by their feelings, others have made attempts on their lives. I shudder to think of those that have succumbed to their pain, and ended their existences. I can only imagine what a loss that must be for you, their friends, and family. After considering all that, I wonder, "What makes me think I have any right to complain to these people?" I realize that's why some of you are here. To seek out those in pain, and do what you can to help. I still cannot help but feel unworthy of any of your ministrations, and still I write. All I can do is ask, I suppose. I ask one among you to talk to me. I think that's all I'm really looking for. Talk to me about anything. I'll leave IM info on my profile. Thanks for reading.