I'm not sure what to say.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by aznbirdflu, Jun 17, 2009.

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  1. aznbirdflu

    aznbirdflu Member

    So I'll say this:

    When I have personal problems, I consider suicide. The specifics of the personal situations, including the latest that has brought me to this psychological state, I have found to be largely irrelevant. I posted last year about similar issues. Tonight it has grown into considering specific plans. After reading the FAQ, I understand it to be inappropriate to discuss methods, so all I can say is that the ideation has become quite specific. Specific implements, specific places, specific times. I don't want to say that I am in any danger. That being said, these thoughts and feelings are hideous. I suppose all I want is to talk things out with someone.

    Even as I write this, I wonder if I'm in the right place. I wonder why anyone would want to hear anything I have to say or write. I peruse the other threads in this section and others, and I wonder how serious my problem is. I find myself wondering if my situation is even an issue. So many others that have posted here seem to have it much worse than I do. Some are nearly crippled by their feelings, others have made attempts on their lives. I shudder to think of those that have succumbed to their pain, and ended their existences. I can only imagine what a loss that must be for you, their friends, and family. After considering all that, I wonder, "What makes me think I have any right to complain to these people?"

    I realize that's why some of you are here. To seek out those in pain, and do what you can to help. I still cannot help but feel unworthy of any of your ministrations, and still I write. All I can do is ask, I suppose. I ask one among you to talk to me. I think that's all I'm really looking for. Talk to me about anything. I'll leave IM info on my profile.

    Thanks for reading.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You're worthy of getting help, just like everyone else is. You can PM me anytime if you want to talk.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It is so difficult to feel one's self worth in the middle of the storm...that does not mean you do not have worth, it means that the recognition of it is unavailable to you...also, being in pain is not a contest...each person's feelings are valid...I hope you continue to post so that you will have a way to voice what you are experiencing...big hugs, J
  4. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    First of all, Welcome to SF. Your feelings and situation are both valid and important to us. You are not "complaining", rather expressing your feelings as all of us here have done at some point.

    That is why we are here. To help others and to share our feelings while others help us along the way.

    So please feel free to share when you are up to it. There are so many caring and insightful people here to assist you in sorting out your issues.

    Take care,

  5. kiera

    kiera Member

    If any problem makes us feel so bad as to want to take our lives, then believe me its serious. I am here should you want to talk more. Please just remember, your negative thoughts will pass, just always give yourself one more day, or one more hour. x
  6. Ophelia1600

    Ophelia1600 Active Member

    I know how u feel. any time i hit the slightest bump in the road i think about suicide. In a way it makes me feel better to think about it and not do it. The problems I have right now are far from unsolvable, and plenty of people have more difficult problems to solve and yet they get by and I think about suicide. It's a coping mechanism like any other. Some people have a few drinks, some hook up, some talk, etc. people do anything to feel at peace. our way may be a little unorthodox but still valid. it's hard to talk to people who havent been there. they start freaking out and calling cops. This is a safe place to talk. no one here thinks your thoughts are invalid. posting helps with the stress.
  7. aznbirdflu

    aznbirdflu Member

    Thank you all for the replies. It seems that the simple act of writing these posts, and reading the replies has been quite helpful. I suppose I just needed a little human contact, even if it is as impersonal as a message board.

    Thank you again.
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