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I'm not sure what to so with this man i thought i was in love wi

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I met Jay late January 2010 while I was still 16 years old. I might as well tell you that he was 26 years old then because it plays a major part in the story. He turned out to be my friends older brother and what attracted me to him at first was that he was drawing. I am an artist also, but my skills come no where close to matching up with his. Normally, I wouldn't go for a guy that is so ahead of me in age but we got to talking and he was just so fascinating and talented. We started talking and hanging out a lot and in March 2010 we kissed for the first time.

He asked me not to tell anyone because obviously he was embarrassed about my age. Between March and April I still saw him all the time and we would also kiss some more. Then at the end of April 2010 (which is the month I also turned 17) he met a 20 year old girl that he became crazy about and they started dating. He told me that he liked me and that if he were 17 again he would date me in a heartbeat, but because of my age things could just never work out.

I started to avoid him by talking to him less and not seeing him anymore, but I just couldn't let him go so easily. He loves Bram Stoker's Dracula and back when we first started talking, he told me that if one of us found the movie then we will watch it together.

I found the movie in Mid-May 2010 and I had to watch it with him. So while he was still dating the other girl, I went over to watch it with him and by the end of it we just started kissing. His girlfriend found out that I was over there but not about the kiss and sent me an angry message. To be honest, I was sort of flattered that she would be threatened by me because she's so attractive. I told Jay that she sent me a message and he called me so I could read it to him. He told me that I shouldn't feel bad and that she was crazy and possessive and that he was going to break up with her. So, all this time I believed that they broke up because of me.

I lost touch with him over the summer because I was beginning to like him too much and I didn't want to get hurt again but in August 2010 we reconnected and it became a sort of thing that we would see each other every saturday to talk, eat dinner, and kiss.

October 2010, I told my friend how things were starting to go beyond kissing. Not sex though, I was a virgin and still am. Then she responded to me by saying that Jay has an STD. I was very upset and felt intrusive knowing this, whether it was true or not. I felt guilty that someone else had told me, so on one of our saturdays I spilled all the very personal things that I had never told him before. After I was finished, I told him that someone told me that he had an STD and asked if it was true.

He told me that it was possible, that he had never shown symptoms of it but a girl he had dated in his late 'teens had it. That was actually why him and his girlfriend from April-May broke up. Jay said that she was much more aggressive than girls he was used to and they had sex before he could tell her. When she found out she was very angry that he could have given it to her and dumped her. He said that the reason he didn't tell me was because we can't have sex but if we could then he would have gotten tested and told me. That was the last time I really saw and spoke to him.

I graduated from High School early, so he and I go to the same college. From Oct 2010 and to this day, I see him around all the time but don't really say anything except a passing "Hi, how are you?"
I still get butterflies in my stomach everytime I see him and even though I havent been close to him in about 6 months, I like him so much that I can't even stand it. My 18th birthday is today and i'm wondering if I should say anything to him, to try and reconnect or something

What I really would like to know is what people think about this.


Staff Alumni
First, happy Birthday:bday: And I hope it is a good one...I think that since you are in college and about to meet so many new people, that you should leave yourself open to who is there, and if this relationship works out with him, it does, and if not, you are continuing to live your life...happy birthday again, J

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Hi Happy Birthday hun I too think it is wise to meet other people in your college perhaps same program same interest. I think you should reach out to people your own age see how that feels see how you relate okay. He has move on and i think you need to move on too he is so much older then you and has lived through many things you have not experiance yet. Leave door open okay for more friendships to develop you are so young you deserve that chance hugs


Well-Known Member
Well for me an STD is a deal breaker. If I have to constantly be worried about catching a disease that would ruin the relationship. :confused: Why he has not been tested is beyond me.

It never hurts too keep touch hun. I would not go as far to reconnect with him in real life. Maybe just pen pal with him. You know write him letters and stuff. I think you should live your life on your own for a bit. You know relax, date some other guys. Hell maybe date another guy then reconnect with him see how he reacts.

I do not know, I am not one who really knows how to advise.
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