I'm Not Sure Where To Put This...Help?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by tazz, Jan 3, 2011.

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  1. tazz

    tazz New Member

    Help? What Happened?

    (I'm not sure if this in the right place...)

    So lately I've kind of started to feel better, not being in school and being alone kind of made me happy. Until New Years when I became depressed about having no one to hang out with and no one inviting me over and I was to scared to invite anyone over because... I don't even know why.
    Sunday night I started freaking out because I had to go to school. I really didn't want to go for some reason. I stayed up till 2 in the morning, not able to get to sleep because I was worrying so much. (I do this often though, it's nothing new. I just usually try to stop it by 12 and sleep.)
    When I got there, I went to math 2nd period and for some reason started thinking there was no possible way I could keep being in this school or keep going to classes. I felt like I was going insane as nothing bad had happened.
    I was really worried for study hall because the library was closed and instead of the usual 5-10 people, there would be about 30 in this huge room. I started worrying and when I got there and sat down I had thoughts like "I can't do this, I have to leave now, there is no way I can keep being in this room, I have to go somewhere, I can't go to anymore classes, it's impossible, I wish I was home." It was really hard to catch my breath, I had a pounding headache, kept thinking about trying to get out, my hands were shaking, my heart was beating so fast, and I felt like crying. I was going to text my mom but my school is in Nowhereville, USA and has crappy service.
    Then there's English class. I always feel this way before I have to go there, and while I'm in there. I sit in the front and the room is set up extremely informally with random tables, desks, beanbags, kitchen stools, people sitting on the floor, and there are 25 kids in there. The room is extremely small, about the size of my laundry room. I felt like that again, trying to catch my breath and thinking that if I didn't get out, I was going to go crazy or something.
    I usually always feel the lightheadedness and the feeling like I'm not really there, just sort of watching myself from somewhere else. Today was the first time with the headaches and feeling like I couldn't breathe.
    What's wrong with me? If this happens again, what should I do? I don't want to go to the nurse and have her think I'm trying to get out of class, or go to guidance and embarrass myself crying and have my counselor think I'm crazy and treating me like I need to be cared for or something. I can't do anything but hint at it to my mom because I don't want her thinking I'm crazy either, I wouldn't be able to face her.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 3, 2011
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    If you really want this kind of thing to stop, you need to see the nurse. You can get referrals to the help you need. Many of us here have taken this step, you're not alone in this.

    I hope you feel better soon. :hug:

  3. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    Sounds like a panic attack to me. You're not crazy and it's nothing to be ashamed of. I think you need to speak to your mom or the nurse, because they can help with this. You'll be ok.

  4. lurktheshadows

    lurktheshadows Well-Known Member

    You sound exactly like me ^__^ (that's not a good thing, that's an empathy emote lol)

    You need to seek help and see a therapist.
    It sounds like you have developed severe social anxiety <3 You're definitely not alone on that one.
    The anxiety is giving you panic attacks.

    Sometimes it's difficult to discern what exactly is going on when you're experiencing it first-hand, but from here it's quite obvious.
    Please see a therapist so you can explore why you're feeling this, and learn new coping methods.
    Before you drop out of school entirely, like me T.T

    Having anxiety isn't being "crazy," your mom/parents need to know what's going on, and need to be able to support you. Please write her a letter if it's too difficult to talk to her.

    There's nothing to be ashamed of, the strongest and best thing you can do right now is ask for help. I know it's not easy, but it's worth it.
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