I'm not sure why I continue.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Someone1, Mar 6, 2007.

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  1. Someone1

    Someone1 New Member

    I think I'm gay, and I hate it. I think about my future and it all looks so hopeless....even if i meet someone (big if, btw) ill never be able to show him off to my family, or go to reunions or visit for the holiday or whatever....most of my family would hate me if they knew, and even those who do know are kind of meh about it...
    i brought these concerns up with my dad....he told me "well, i think whoever you partner with is a private issue" (read: i don't want to know) and "as long as it doesn't recruit my other children..." (read: don't ever let the rest of the family know)...

    I've thought about killing myself so many times. Running into a car or whatever....because nothing is going to change. ive tried so hard not to be gay, to try to get in with a woman or whatever, but it just doesnt work. since nothing is going to change, why should i keep living? sometimes when i think about the issue, i just feel so ashamed and disgusted and i want to cut myself or whatever.....why should i keep doing everything in my life if nothing will alter for the better?

    nobody can help, and thats the big problem. ive talked with so mayn people, but the advice they give is useless, because ultimately it is something that has to come from within me, but nothing is going to happen....

    im just so tired of it all.
     
  2. Spitfire

    Spitfire Member

    Don't be afraid, you aren't alone. I think your dad isn't looking out for you at all, but don't be a slave to what he thinks. It should never be hard for you to feel love. It doesn't matter if you're gay, its not you that's the problem, its people's opinions.
    My sister is lesbian (I'm not suposed to know that, it was an accident) and she is very unhappy because she is afraid of what people will think. I don't think you should ever deny yourself what makes you happy, I sometimes do if it will hurt someone, but this isn't like that at all.

    Be how you are, you don't see straight people forcing themselves to be gay, so you shouldn't force yourself to be straight. Love is one of the things that makes your life worth living, and it makes us happy because it is true. I believe you will find someone who makes you happy, there are many other gay people who also have this problem and if your family doesn't accept it then they don't deserve to be called family. If your siblings are feel love fr you like I feel for my sister then they won't care that you're gay, because they want you to be happy.
    You aren't alone, I understand how you feel, talk to me any time you want.
    Lotsa love, stay strong
     
  3. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Part of the reason that people (esp. family) try to discourage individuals from being gay is that they are afraid of the emotional pain that can come with being gay. It's a more difficult path, and parents don't want to see their children in pain.

    Another is religion (enough said).

    But also realize that when your parent realizes that you are gay (and it's a sudden realization), they need time to mourn the person they thought you were. This does not by any means say that they will never accept you, but it's hard for them too, so although YOU are the one struggling with these feelings, THEY are too, and you need to give them time and patience until they are ready to truly accept that their idea of who you are is incorrect. They were seeing grand-children, suberbia, etc. and no matter how open-minded they are, it stings a little for them...

    That said, based on what your father said, I definitely think that he will come around. I mean, he basically said "O.K., I know who you are, but I don't feel ready to deal with that as of yet". Most parents would freak and try to talk you out of it. So hang in there. I think your Dad is just trying to assimilate and/or deny for the time being the info that you gave him. Give him time, but definitely keep an open dialogue with him. I really think you will be fine :)
     
  4. Erebos

    Erebos Well-Known Member

    Now why would you say that?
     
  5. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Sweetheart, I'm going to be blunt here...

    Anyone who uses your sexuality as a reason to treat you negatively should go fuck themselves!

    We do not choose our sexual orientation.

    My mum kicked me out when I told her I was bisexual. She called me lots of really nasty things and was about as unsupportive as it's possible to be. However, she did come round. I'm not suggesting she's 'cool with it', because she isn't, and that's hard for me, but I think she's managed to come to terms with the fact that it doesn't change who I am (her daughter).

    I'm really sorry that you are feeling so desperate and unhappy. I'm here for you if you want to talk. Please let us know how you are...

    :hug: x x
     
  6. CM 1000

    CM 1000 Guest

    Someone1

    I you believe when you write homosexual being and you does not like that In this case you can cure itself of your homosexuality I know only what I to say to you can seem to you ridiculous or unreal but I say to you test Ca nevertheless coute nothing and you will see good the results after You must inflict a pain and to say `' aloud I am a man`` Why a pain it is that your unconscious records very when you have a pain. In not to be homosexual more you you must have to record in your unconscious I am a man. And is not to record you this is why you are homosexual.
     
  7. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    CM 1000, your post was very difficult to understand but are you saying that Someone1 can "cure" himself of being gay by convincing himself that he's a man? I'm sorry, but you are mistaken there. People are not gay because they are confused about their gender, some people are just born gay. There is no cure, and it's not something that needs to be cured either. Not all gay men are effeminate. I've known loads of completely happy gay male bodybuilders and club bouncers, and vice versa I've been dragged shoe shopping by countless lesbians. Sexuality and gender are seperate issues. Gay men are just as male as straight men.
     
  8. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Here here Mally! :biggrin:

    :hug: Thanks for making that post.

    x x x
     
  9. HEY HEY HEY! Gay is not a bad thing, trust me! It's dumb that people don't really accept you because of your sexuality, so what if you're gay? big deaaaal! Remember, I'm here if you wanna talk : chemicalsreact-x@hotmail.com
     
  10. Frazen

    Frazen Member

    It's not your fault, and your parents should support you no matter who you are. It sounds like they're the ones that need to get their priorities right.

    There's nothing wrong with gays and I fail to see why everyone makes such a big deal about it. I'd just move out as soon as I was old enough and do whatever I want with my life. Why do they need to know?

    Just a suggestion.
     
  11. Darken

    Darken Well-Known Member

    Yeah man, nothing wrong with being gay at all. You can live a happy gay life style if you want. There is alot of openly gay people now adays. I think homsexual descrimination is as bad as racial descrimination. Your parents should except you for who you are, not only for being how they want you to be.
     
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