I'm not sure...

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U

Unregistered in MN

#1
Not sure who to talk to, Not sure where to go, Not sure I want help. Been sucidial for years, got better when I was on my meds. I can't afford my meds haven't been able to for months. Sucidial thoughts have been worse then ever before. I don't have much in my life, I try to change it, try to do something that will make me happy and I fall harder and further then I did before. I mean I might actually have to go to court over the last job that I lost. I'm so tired and frustrated. I have no family really, No friends either. You may say "yes you do no one has absolutely no friends". Well I'm serious I have no one to call to help me if I ever need it for anything. I'm a constant fuck up I can't do anything right ever. I don't even know why I'm typing and posting this. Maybe for one last chance to see if a total stranger would care if there's one less person in this world.


Severely hurting
 

downnout

Well-Known Member
#2
Greetings from one MN to another!

I'm sorry you're feeling this low, but it's good that you're here. Many of us here feel that we're in the exact same position as you, but please, hang in there! Do you want to talk more about what's going on?
 

downnout

Well-Known Member
#3
Greetings from one MN to another!

I'm sorry you're feeling this low, but it's good that you're here. Many of us here feel that we're in the exact same position as you, but please, hang in there! Do you want to talk more about what's going on?
 
U

Unregistered in MN

#4
Thanks wasn't sure anyone would reply. I suppose I could put a list...

lost a 4 and a half year relationship with the person I loved to death
no job
no money of course
$400 car payment
car accident 4 months ago in constant pain because of it
totaled out my car which was my pride and joy
lost my job for stupid reasons, now their making up lies so i won't get unemployment
totally suck at dating
got dumped this weekend
guys treat me like a whore not good enough to date but good enough to sleep with
have no family, my dad hates me and has verbally abused me since I was 9
have to live with my mom who I can't stand and is embarrassed to tell her new bf the truth about me
owe way too much money to way too many people ie my mom, credit cars, car loan, school loan
now I have to worry about getting a lawyer because of my last job and the unemployment crap that goes along with it

I think that's about it, I'm sure I will think of more but that's just what's on the top of my head. Been depressed for way too long. thanks for listening
 
R

Robin

#6
Just wanted to say hi, I read your post and felt the need to say I care even though we may be miles apart, others no doubt will too, you just need to find them :) :hug:
 
U

Unregistered in MN

#7
I try to believe that people care but more and more everyday I get told no one does. Today I get an email from an old friend telling me no one's like me everyone hates. I've been the biggest bitch in the world and everyone was just friends with me because they felt sorry for me. I hate to say it but I don't think I'm going to make it past today. Thanks for listening and giving me a sliver of hope. I guess I just started looking for hope a little too late....
 

downnout

Well-Known Member
#8
:hug: It's never too late. I know that I don't know you or your situation, but whatever that may be, I hope you know that there are people here AND out there who really do want to help you and really do care. It sounds like you're dealing with an incredible amount of stress in your life... It's so easy to get down on yourself when things pile up like that. Please don't make any rash decisions! Have you thought about/tried seeing a counselor?
 
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U

Unregistered in MN

#9
Yeah I've tried therapy and such never worked out that great. I've been suicidal since I was 14 started cutting when I was 15 and here I am at 23 with the same crap. I'm hoping I can make it till summer and everything will start to get better again. I was on meds for my depression, they really worked I had never felt better. But then I lost my health insurance and couldn't afford them anymore. Really sucks wish I could then maybe I wouldn't be so down. Plus I miss the energy I have a real hard time getting out of bed in the morning. I'm not sure what to do...
 

downnout

Well-Known Member
#10
You and I sound like we're in very similar situations in some ways. I'm 23 as well and was about to lose my insurance (also on medication for depression) but a new law was recently passed that extends parental insurance to 25 in some cases (you might already know that, but I thought I'd mention it in case you haven't; might want to look into it). Otherwise, have you talked to a psychiatrist or Blue Cross/Blue Shield?
 

downnout

Well-Known Member
#11
Don't give up; Have you thought about a part-time job at a place like Starbucks or anything? They'll give health insurance (though it takes a few months, of course)... Otherwise constant exercise can somewhat take the place of meds, though I know that's a bitch when you're spiraling down.
 
#12
Many drug companies have a program to give free or low cost medications...have you checked the pharm company which makes your meds to see if they have a plan? also, many pharmacies have a $5 for generic drug plans...maybe this is worth trying...plez let us know if either route was helpful...and of course, so sorry it is so rough for you lately...big hugs, J
 
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