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I'm not sure.

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It's weird, you know. I'm not religious, I'm Agnostic. I've wanted to die for 5 years, sometimes the feeling escalates to where I'm ready to do it. Sometimes I get kind of happy, but the thought is always in the back of my head no matter how well my life is going.

I'm too scared though, because I don't know for sure what will happen when I'm dead. I was raised in a very Christian family, and even though I don't really believe in the Christian afterlife now, the thought is still stuck there.

Nobody believes that I really want to die though, because if I did, I wouldn't second guess it. I don't think that's true though, I think lots of people have a hard time making up their mind about dying.

I don't really need advice, I just wanted to get that out.


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I think there is a finality in dying before our time that makes us second guess the idea. It doesn't have to be religion based, I guess it could be based on something as simple as not knowing what happens.

Wanting to die is what we come up with when we feel like we've exhausted all of our resources.

At least that is how it was with me.
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