Hello, everyone! I was faced with a serious decision that I need to make my tomorrow and I don't feel able to do it. I would really appreciate advice.
Currently, I am kind of stuck between jobs. I used to have a teaching job where my contract would be renewed in summer, before the beginning of each new academic year. My last year's contract expired on June 30th, and instead of being offered a new one I was informed that the company isn't sure they want to keep me and basically told me to wait for their decision. Since things were already going downhill for a while by then, instead of sitting on my hands and waiting, I started looking for a new job immediately and warned my management that since they aren't going to offer me any employment for the next 2 months and can't guarantee me anything, I can't promise them I'll be around for the next academic year either. Their response was "fine, then you're fired". I got a job offer in the mid-July, and started training for a new job July 22nd. Things seemed to be clear, until last Thursday, when I received a call from my old job. I was contacted by a manager that immediately started talking me into accepting...increased workload starting with September 5th? Apparently, no one in the current management is aware I am "fired" or even that I wasn't given a new contract back in June, much less why it happened, because most of the management was either fired or quit abruptly in the last two months, and things are utterly chaotic there. The manager I was talking to sounded very stressed out, and demanded that I accept the workload and come sign a contract by Tuesday (tomorrow) or they will hire a replacement, seemingly refusing to believe that I have another job with conflicting hours. So now I am sort of stuck in between and I need to make a final decision by tomorrow.
So option 1 - quitting my old job and sticking with the new one. The problem is, I am on probation until October 22nd and my performance kind of sucks, so I am afraid they will end up deciding not to proceed working with me and I will end up unemployed. And even if I pass probation, I really feel like I am shit at this new job, honestly. My self-confidence plummeted in general, because now I can clearly see that my cognitive abilities were drastically affected and learning new things is incredibly hard, which is something I attribute to the fact I suffered brain damage in a failed attempt back in 2017.
Option 2 - quitting my new job and returning to the old one. I have a better chance at sticking with that job for a while, considering there is a severe shortage of workers there at the moment. But there were reasons why I agreed to being fired from it in the first place. With the combination of my significantly declined health and their significantly worsened work conditions, the job became almost unbearable over the last year. There are certain requirements at my old job that I am now simply physically incapable to fulfill, and while my old boss knew about my issues and was understanding, the new boss gives me vibes of a person that isn't going to think twice before firing me for it once he notices. So that is not super reliable either, and pretty hard on top.
Option 3 - negotiate to keep both jobs. Would require me to work over 80 hours a week. Might risk that, but that might result in serious health issues and both jobs have a very poor attitude towards getting sick leave, bad enough that getting in a hospital would most likely result in losing both jobs. Not to mention I am kind of at risk of a stroke and I'm afraid 80+ hour work week is not very safe for that.
I really need outside input, because my thinking isn't clear at all now. I am in significant physical pain, I haven't ate since Thursday and pain makes me unable to sleep for more that 2 hours in a row, so I haven't slept much either. Right now a thought of working anywhere feels unbearable and I am just suicidal. But I've been here before and I know I need to decide something. Any advice?
P.S. I'm sorry this is so long.
Currently, I am kind of stuck between jobs. I used to have a teaching job where my contract would be renewed in summer, before the beginning of each new academic year. My last year's contract expired on June 30th, and instead of being offered a new one I was informed that the company isn't sure they want to keep me and basically told me to wait for their decision. Since things were already going downhill for a while by then, instead of sitting on my hands and waiting, I started looking for a new job immediately and warned my management that since they aren't going to offer me any employment for the next 2 months and can't guarantee me anything, I can't promise them I'll be around for the next academic year either. Their response was "fine, then you're fired". I got a job offer in the mid-July, and started training for a new job July 22nd. Things seemed to be clear, until last Thursday, when I received a call from my old job. I was contacted by a manager that immediately started talking me into accepting...increased workload starting with September 5th? Apparently, no one in the current management is aware I am "fired" or even that I wasn't given a new contract back in June, much less why it happened, because most of the management was either fired or quit abruptly in the last two months, and things are utterly chaotic there. The manager I was talking to sounded very stressed out, and demanded that I accept the workload and come sign a contract by Tuesday (tomorrow) or they will hire a replacement, seemingly refusing to believe that I have another job with conflicting hours. So now I am sort of stuck in between and I need to make a final decision by tomorrow.
So option 1 - quitting my old job and sticking with the new one. The problem is, I am on probation until October 22nd and my performance kind of sucks, so I am afraid they will end up deciding not to proceed working with me and I will end up unemployed. And even if I pass probation, I really feel like I am shit at this new job, honestly. My self-confidence plummeted in general, because now I can clearly see that my cognitive abilities were drastically affected and learning new things is incredibly hard, which is something I attribute to the fact I suffered brain damage in a failed attempt back in 2017.
Option 2 - quitting my new job and returning to the old one. I have a better chance at sticking with that job for a while, considering there is a severe shortage of workers there at the moment. But there were reasons why I agreed to being fired from it in the first place. With the combination of my significantly declined health and their significantly worsened work conditions, the job became almost unbearable over the last year. There are certain requirements at my old job that I am now simply physically incapable to fulfill, and while my old boss knew about my issues and was understanding, the new boss gives me vibes of a person that isn't going to think twice before firing me for it once he notices. So that is not super reliable either, and pretty hard on top.
Option 3 - negotiate to keep both jobs. Would require me to work over 80 hours a week. Might risk that, but that might result in serious health issues and both jobs have a very poor attitude towards getting sick leave, bad enough that getting in a hospital would most likely result in losing both jobs. Not to mention I am kind of at risk of a stroke and I'm afraid 80+ hour work week is not very safe for that.
I really need outside input, because my thinking isn't clear at all now. I am in significant physical pain, I haven't ate since Thursday and pain makes me unable to sleep for more that 2 hours in a row, so I haven't slept much either. Right now a thought of working anywhere feels unbearable and I am just suicidal. But I've been here before and I know I need to decide something. Any advice?
P.S. I'm sorry this is so long.