i'm not very good at talking about things

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Petal, Feb 2, 2016.

  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I say things...then feel that they were so stupid to say then I get anxiety relating to that. Story of my life. I think the doctor's are trying to make me someone I'm never going to be. I dislike going outside even though I do still go outside. I start sweating, my heart starts palpitating, even talking among friends here on this site I often say the wrong things and feel so so bad for it. Just some simple insight or suggestions welcome please. I have a psych appointment at 9:45am this morning, i'm thinking of not going, fearing they will reduce the meds that are helping me and I really don't need a psych to diagnose a nervous wreck, i've figured that out for myself.
     
  2. Katryn

    Katryn Member

    As long as you honest in what you say, at least you real, not fake, I prefer that to some-one who thinks what is the right thing to say just sounds wrong. Maybe you say the right things but it just comes out wrong. But dont belittle yourself, be true to yourself
     
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  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    If I were to fake my feelings, i'd be easier at talking that's true lol but no, i like to keep it real, so it's tough. Especially since I don't have much social experience. Well none really. I've lost contact with ''friends'' because they weren't true friends, so i'm alone all day thinking these bad thoughts myself. Thank you for your reply, very kind of you.
     
  4. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    *big hugs*

    I am so sorry to hear you feel like this. Take some deep breaths.
    I happen to think you're very strong that you keep going outside, it's not easy... I personally have had weeks I haven't left my flat due to anxiety. It's 'easy' to let anxiety control you. It's hard work to fight against it, and you're doing that!

    I think you should go to the appointment, there's a big possibility it won't be anything near as bad as how you fear it. One thing is being diagnosed... another thing is letting them help you. Sometimes they can give you the smallest of advice and give you another view of things and that can make a big difference. You shouldn't cheat yourself out of that.

    And last, but definitely not least! I know you to be a lovely person on this forum, you've helped me so much through these months I've been around. Thank you for that!
     
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  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Awww thank you- you are very welcome, I do my best. You're right I will definitely go to that psych appointment now. I guess I just feel silly at times or socially awkward for want of a better term. I am going to ask the psych to go over my diagnosis again and see what they say and ask if they would recommend anything. Thanks for your reply.
     
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  6. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Good luck with your appointment!
    Last time I was in therapy I always started the days I had sessions with 'I dont want to go!!'. Well I do that everytime I go somewhere... epsecially somewhere new.

    Take care of yourself, Petal. And again, thank you for what you've done for me
     
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  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I saw the psych and good news I got into the DBT program which starts in March, delighted about that so thank you for encouraging me to go. He said I was doing spectacularly well, yay! Told him about my anxiety issues he said DBT will teach me skills to cope and he was really happy with me today. I am proud of myself for once :) Also found out the DBT is a research study which is funded by suicide prevention, I don't mind that at all. Good news =)
     
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  8. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Great news Petal! And best of luck with the DBT, I benefited from that years back (though I ended up faking recovery) and that's the style of therapy I've now been on an 8 month waiting list to get started on.

    I hope it will help you! And you should be proud!
     
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  9. Katryn

    Katryn Member

    Awesome, really good news, I'm happy for you.
     
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  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Thank you so much <3
     
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Me and my mom went to visit a friend. This friend is much older than I and her daughter is 19 and out of control, sleeping around, drinking and smoking illegal substances. I was actually able to give her advice, for once in my life I feel I have actually made a real difference. I told her that her daughter is crying out for attention because of the loss of her baby sister, she's not in her right mind and is seeing a psych and once you let the psychs do their job she will be back to normal, to herself. I told her to give her a hug and tell her what's happened has happened and ye need to move on together and you need her to know you are there for her, and put her on the injection for the just in case. It was great to discuss this and have someone to listen as well as advise.

    Today has been an alright day for me, it was good to talk about my issues with someone that understands panic attacks etc..

    My sister is doing well, in a lot of pain though :( but well :)

    Tomorrow I will buy her a nice gift and hopefully if my other sister texts back we will be going for a chinese meal tonight!! :)
     
  12. Katryn

    Katryn Member

    The best therapy is to know that you might make a difference in some-one else's life....