my kids don't need me, or don't want me, and i sure don't want myself. i'm a fucking loser and a drunk and i fuck up everything i touch. if it weren't for my dogs i'd have blown my brains out long ago. i hate myself and my miserable useless life. i only stay alive for my dogs. everything else stinks, including my kids. some don't need me anymore and the others don't want me. i don't care. i'm hanging on for my dogs and the rest of the world, including my family, can just fuck off. nothing will get any better it will only get worse. im a miserable failure and i hate myself.