I'll try to keep this brief. I've wanted to end it all for about 5 years now, but I held off, either out of fear or under the mantle of "it'll get better." Now, my life isn't hell. I'm healthy, young, financially secure; but I'm incredibly empty. I haven't had any physical contact other than handshakes in over a year. I don't have any family, never had a girlfriend (I'm 26), no friends, hate my job.... and it's been this way for years. I guess I'm just lonely, and unfortunately, I suffer from an anxiety disorder that makes it very difficult for me talk to people. Sooooo... I guess I'm wondering if anybody can think of a reason for me to keep going, 'cause I sure can't. If I were to kill myself, I'd have done it after YEARS of consideration and reflection, and I believe I would just be sparing myself a lot of heartache. I have some cash; I would make arrangements for that to go to a worthy charity. I think I'd be doing a lot of good by dying. The point is that I've thought a lot about this. I take great comfort in the knowledge that this doesn't have to go on forever, and the idea of going on 'till I'm 30 is something that scares the crap outta me. I've thought about it, I've weighed the options; and I see suicide as the only logical course of action. But, I would like to know the touch of a woman.... so I'll take a way out if I can find one, but I can't on my own. Sorry... that's asking a lot of people who don't know me, but nobody really does. And I know you guys are probably dealing with some crazy **** that I couldn't possibly comprehend. But I really don't see why I should have to continue to drink myself to sleep every night, so I just thought I"d give it one last try.