Since I learned to speak and walk I've had a HUGE confidence. Lots of friends, Love for life, and easy to get boys. 2 years ago I fell in Love. 4 days ago it ended. During these 2 years I've trivs to kill myself 3 times. My boyfriend physically and mentally abused me. He also cheated on me 4 times. He would regurly tell me I'm stupid, ugly, worthless etc. And other times he would tell me I'm the mist beautiful girl in the world and bla bla . He pretty much fell in Love with my look and wasnt attracted to my personality. I was in Love with HIM. Everything about him. My friends didn't like him. So I lost them. Now I've lost him too. He tells his friends and other people in my community that I'm psycho. I'm not crazy. I'm just lonely. I don't understand how I got here. I use to be the strongest and most independent kid who didnt take shit from no one. Now I sit here alone at work. Turned 21 two days ago. I live in Stockholm (Sweden). I'm planning <mod edit - methods> I wanna grow old and have children. But I can't live with myself anymore. Drugs don't even work anymore.