I'm playing with live ammo now

As I post I have a <methods> in my lap filled to the magazine's limit <methods>. I just really need somebody to talk to. I don't have any friends and my family has been kept in the dark about what I've been feeling and planning for the past few years so it's been a hassle trying to explain things to them.

 

hi and welcome. care to tell us what got you in this situation ?

 

A general unwillingness to keep on living the way I am. I will always find some way to screw myself over one way or another.

 

yes it does feel like crap, I understand too well. Try and do something get out of the house, I often drive for miles listening to music and being on your own when you are feeling like that isn't too bad as long as you have something to concentrate on ie like driving ! Focusing on something else does help even when the crap in our lives just keeps building and bloody building. Take care of yourself - Ali

 

Problem with that being is that I'm currently 190 miles away from home. I like driving but I don't have the money to even make a quarter of the way home. Every resource I have now is very limited.

 

can you call a hotline
if you are in the states there is 1 800 suicide
it can really help to have a non judgmental listener at the other end of the phone
they won't report you to anyone, just listen and help