Hi, my name is Jay, I am 25. I am 5"3' and I am a male. i live on my own and work a very stressful job. I work at a call center as a "billing agent" and have been doing call center work for about 6 years now. I like to smoke weed, drink and listen to extreme music like Industrial, Black Metal, blah blah blah... Anyways... Lately I have been experiencing this new type of depression. Yeah, yeah, I've been depressed over dead pets and relationship breakups. But this is a whole new level... It scares me. First of all, I hate my job and I deal with nagging fucking people ALL DAY LONG, most of them are very negative and irate... Well, it's not my fault they can't pay their fucking bill. I find myself having to repeat the same words to customers all the time that call in. Where I'm from, call centers are the only form of stable job you can get. I tired of it, I feel trapped, I've taken too many sick days off work due to the stress and the job over time (a span of 6 months) has greatly accentuated my anxiety, panic attacks and negative thought patterns to a point where I am ready to down a bottle of pills very soon, or hang myself. I'm tired of it all, I'm tired of the fact how we are all slaves to major corporations in this world and there is no true freedom. As soon as I walk into work, my introspection sinks inside of me like a hole, I feel cold, emotionless, enraged, fire, I feel like killing everyone in there for even working there in the first place, It kills me so bad more than you will ever know. I am going to school on and off to finish up the rest of my high school credits, but still... I feel like there's no future for me, I can't take another day of work, it has fucked me up mentally. I have panic attacks everyday, I think of suicide everyday at work, and most times I will put a customer on hold and run to the bathroom just so I can cut myself to ease the frustration and anger. We are told by our supervisors to lie to our customers or punt them whenever we encounter a problem that cannot be dealt with. I am treated like shit by customers, have been called every name in the book. I have purposely dropped down to part time hours just to try and sustain some form of sanity... ...but still, it just gets worse and worse. Being there has destroyed my faith in human nature. I dread going to work everyday... It has destroyed my ability to njoy life and appreciate the subtle beauties of life... I am just a walking hollow human scrap that serves nothing but as a slave to another mal-feasible corporation. I am tired, I've been doing this type of work for too long, I don't want to live with my parents, I have no way to escape in reality, other than to "off" myself WHICH I AM REALLY FUCKING SERIOUS ABOUT DOING. DON'T QUESTION THIS RANT... I need advice, I'm in the process of looking for a new job, but like i said, it's very very very difficult and challenging to find a job from where I am from. I'm attending school on and off to better my education, but I truly feel as if I can't last another month living in this world.