Ive been planning my death for quite a while. All the time holding hope that I could somehow escape my problems, but nonetheless planning. I finally have what I need in order to ensure a quick and painless exit. And I have to admit, Im scared. Though the thought of the alternative is much more frightening and unsettling, living with the abuse is not an option for me and I revert back to suicide. When I think about what Ive been through and what I will continue to be subjected to if I stay in this life, the thought of death is a nice welcome relief, though frightening in its own right. Nothing left but to just do the deed, Im ready to go.