i'm ready to talk now

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by missguided, May 30, 2008.

  1. missguided

    missguided New Member

    when i first came here i didn't feel like i could just open up and talk about my feelings with you all. I just tend to bottle up things up.seems strange to me that i can open up to strangrs but can't talk to the people that are nearest to me. let me fill you in... in December last year my father died of cancer it was very sudden (just 4 weeks from the diagnosis to the end). this devastated me cos i was daddys girl and we had always been close. then 4 weeks ago my mother commited suicide by hanging herself because she couldn't live without my dad. i feel so alone now i am an only child and my friends have avoided me since cos i guess they don't know what to say to me. I feel so angry that my mum left me. i lost him too. why couldn't she have fought through it for me? wasn't i enough to keep living for? i know i won't ever no the reasons why but i'm so angry and depressed and i feel so lonely now that i have lost the two best parents in the world.

    thanks for listening x x x x x
  2. ItThing

    ItThing Well-Known Member

    I'm really sorry... there are lots of people you can talk to here but they take a while to respond, I hope we can help you get through this difficult time.
  3. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I so sorry for your loss! Good that you're here. We can always listen and help :hug:
  4. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry that you lost your parents...
    You shouldn't blame yourself or your parents.
    Your father couldn't do anything, your mother couldn't handle losing her lover.
    Your mother did love you very much but she loved her husband as well. If you lost a husband that you spent most of your life with you wouldn't handle it well, there would be so much grief and pain. Maybe your mother thought you could overcome the anguish by yourself because you are young and stronger.

    Try to be safe and if you want to talk we will listen.
  5. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    i am so sorry for your loss.
    When my boyfriends dad committed suicide he thought the world was over. To be honest, i did too. i thought life would never been the same and things would never be happy.
    well, a few years on life is not the same, but he has learnt to be happy again. It takes a long time, but eventually the wounds start to heal.

    I could recommend some good support networks which might help a little. Where abouts in the world are you?

    keep talking hun :hug:
  6. M’dear…

    The words of support and comfort you are given here will conflict with what you are feeling right now – but do listen – and keep writing and sharing. What another said about not receiving immediate replies holds true – yet it also reflects those who have encountered similar circumstances who may not yet have dealt with them. Or they feel for you, but cannot offer any words at the moment. Still, you are heard…

    And it’s a given that your very fresh recent scars add only to those from the past. It is very hard, even seems impossible, to feel any empathy and understanding for your mum, given the way she left you. Yet I already clearly see the seeds of it within what you wrote. And this can only be healing, though the pain right now is overwhelming. This will be a hard journey – I have had 2 suicides in my own immediate family – but that you ask for help in taking all these steps you will need, is more healthy right now than you know. And…it is worth it.

    And by all means, do not limit your support systems to this forum alone – seek as many as you can find within your community. Simply calling a Crisis Line may potentially give your other avenues and resources. Grief counselling – even and especially related to family suicides is also now offered through many funeral homes (for example) – and there is no time limit. And to do so is NOT a sign of weakness, but an acknowledgment of that which you need…and that you are not alone…

    I am so very sorry for you loss…

  7. kittyD

    kittyD Well-Known Member

    I'm a daddy's girl too, and even though its been 12 years just a few weeks ago, it still can bring me to tears. like right now.
    Your grief is so fresh its hard to believe that you'll ever even smile again,let alone feel happy, but it does happen, it just takes time, support and love.
    But definetly get some grief counselling, even if doesnt' seem like its worth it.
    My heart goes out to you