I have been here awhile but dont say much. Ive been suicidal ever since i remember. Life hasnt even been that bad or wasnt. Things are rough now tho and Im not sure how much more i want to take> Health issues have left my hubby with 12% of his heart left and I am disabled with arthritus and fybromyalgia> We always had our own buisness but now we are reduced to playin on the internet and trying to survive on less than 1000 dollars a month. Our home is paid for but still...theres days we dont have food. I cant believe im writing this down. Im also a cocaine addict ..or used to be .life sux these days. Why cant we just die when were done Cause Im done. Our children are succesfull and dont need us. They help some but no way would i tell them how bad things are. Hubby needs me for now but they tell me he wont be here really long and i should enjoy him, Ha Ha