I'm sorry for this being so long but I think it's going to be my last thread. I tend to repeat stuff you've already heard but it's true. I finished writing my suicide note. All that's left is to make my final preparations. I don't see why I should prepare, I don't have an attachment to what little possessions I have, I don't want to say my goodbyes, if I do my family will just talk me out of it. Everyday it's the same stupid fucking thing over and over again, I don't want to go through another year of boredom, isolation, severe depression, anger and loneliness. To be honest, I don't think I can last the rest of this month. I'm just a loser, a drain on society who will never amount to anything. I'll never have independence and true happiness, I'll never be normal. If I don't kill myself, I'll just end up a severely depressed bigger loser in 20 years with a low paying job in a low income apartment thinking, "I should have offed myself in my 20s." I have no future, I'm dumb, college isn't an option for me. Life isn't going to get better, I'm tired of living in pain, anger and self hatred and I'm not good enough to be alive. I HATE THIS FUCKING PLACE! I just need to think about how I'm going to do it, I think of suicide every single day. I thought about getting drunk and slitting my throat but I figured my fucking mom would most likely find my body, so I thought of mixing alcohol with pills or maybe poisoning myself. I'm not sure of a good working pill combination with alcohol though, don't give me any tips though because I don't want any of you to get into trouble. I'm gay so I guess my suicide MIGHT get on CNN or Fox for at least 3 minutes, the media kinda milks that shit sometimes, I don't know. I'll figure it out, I just don't care anymore. The faster I do this and end my life the better off the world will be, one less piece of shit to not care about. I'm a prisoner in my own body, I'm stuck in this shitty life with no options or future. I'm done, It's for the best. I would give anything to be normal, another person that obsesses about useless electronics, has a car, independence, a job, friends, a life and goals. I don't fit in with society, other people my age and I don't belong here. "Life is like a movie, if you've sat through more than half of it and it’s sucked every second so far, it probably isn't gonna get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. No one should blame you for walking out early." - Doug Stanhope.