I'm ready

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by scared_child, Nov 16, 2006.

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  1. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    I'm ready to die! i don't want to deal with the pain I feel everyday. i'm tired of nightmares about rape, abuse and alcoholics. i just want to leave all of this pain, NOW! I'll write my letter to my fiance tonight....and then, i'm leaving this bleak world behind!
     
  2. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    :hug: hun ...

    Please reconsider .... I'm sure your fiance would be terribly upset if you ended your life .....

    We care :)
     
  3. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    I don't even care anymore! She would probably just move on, just like everyone else did! Just like my dad did! When he left my family to be with my mom's sister! And just like he did when i was in 4th grade and he beat me with a chair, that weighed more than I did!EVERYONE LEAVES SOONER OR LATER! so why shouldn't I just leave now?
     
  4. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Dear Songie

    I sincerly hope you reconcider this decision, i understand that this is a difficult time your going thru but we all have the inner strength to make it thru including you. I hope with all my heart that you will choose to stay with us.

    Sending hugs

    Vikki
     
  5. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    I am going to die. And no one, so far, has been able to convince me not to. I want to bleed. I need to bleed. And i will. i will get what i want. NO one will miss me!
     
  6. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    We're all going to die at one point, there is allways a chance that you can live a happy life in the future but you won't know if you end it like this. I'm sure your fiance would be deeply upset if you went thru with this. She agreed to marry you, she choose to agree to spend the rest of her live with you, that shows how much she loves and cares about you. Imagine what she would feel if you did this. You may feel no one will miss you but im telling you people will including your fiance.
     
  7. Mya

    Mya Well-Known Member

    SONGI!!! hun, i joined...its mya btw, i love you (sister.friend,ect..) so dont go doing anythin stupid ok? i WILL miss you and so will josh....*sigh* i posted stuff read my stuff kay?
     
  8. Mya

    Mya Well-Known Member

    I will rise you skinny lesbian ass from the dead just to FUCKING KILL YOU AGAIN... you CANT do this you know why? beacuse every time i let my self care about some one the fuck it up PLEASE dont be just like the rest of them...just like my mom...
     
  9. Old_Man_Kensey

    Old_Man_Kensey Well-Known Member

    i don' t know you and i d probably like to meet u....If a stranger like me cares about you, then how is it possible that those close to you don't???Everybody thinks, says and does stupid stupid things when they are upset...That's why we are all here!!!I don' t know what u been through, but i doubt u can't fix it...If u die, well , there's no remedy for that...
     
  10. Shattered_oblivion

    Shattered_oblivion Active Member

    Ok, Songie, I know this will completely give me away, but. I really love you, I couldn't move on if I tried. I will be caught infinitely in a depressing struggle to overcome the pain of anything that horrific.

    Babe, I love you.
     
  11. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    shattered oblivion- I love you too baby, but whether i like it or not, I AM SAD! I don't want to live anymore...Your the only reason why i am still breathing...
     
  12. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed


    but, how can I fix this? How can I fix nightmares, and memories, and flash backs. I can literally spend 10 or 20 minutes in flashbacks, i don't see anything around me, I am back when I was beaten or raped. HOW CAN I FIX IT? if you know, then please, tell me.
     
  13. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed


    *looks down*...sorry
     
  14. Old_Man_Kensey

    Old_Man_Kensey Well-Known Member

    U should keep saying to urself that it ;s not ur fault what u been through....Cos it's not!!!What u been through it s one of the hardest things in life...I sympathise you...But u have to move on....It's like a nasty scar on your face...Accept that u have it and go on.If anything live to help other people who have been through sth like that...That should help you...
    You are a good person
    It's not ur fault...Just don't do anything stupid.Take care
     
  15. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    How do i just move on? I can't control my flashbacks, or my nightmares! I wake up in the middle of the night and have breakdowns, and I can't make them go away!
     
  16. Shattered_oblivion

    Shattered_oblivion Active Member

    Babe, you don't have to make them go away. No matter how hard someone will try, they usually can't just make them go away. With all these things, it's not your fault, nor will it ever be. Keep living with the knowledge you have some good things in life to look forward to, and that none of this was your fault.
     
  17. Mya

    Mya Well-Known Member

    i have no idea what to say...i was molested in 6th grade but its really not the same.... ok so maby i cant say i know how you feel about that but i do know how it feels to keep having flash backs of somthing you never wanted to see/happen... i keep remembering the day that i watched my dad strangle my mom untill she passed out... and i thought she was dead...
     
  18. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    shattered_oblivion-thanks hun!
    2lost4words-u were molested? I am your friend, and i didn't know this! Why didn't you tell me, babe?
     
  19. Acetaminophen

    Acetaminophen Well-Known Member

    Flashbacks huh!?!?

    well these flashbacks are hard to get over with yes . . true

    but the trick is to look forward, when you think you've reached a dead end, you don't realize the millions of other detours .
    explore your passion, explore your life, you might just find something worthwhile, . . .
    if you feel worthless, well you're not, people need you, people here need you, they might be some internet random people, but of all people you know
    that words that we discuss here always come from the heart, . .

    it might not be a direct comfort, but people really really NEED you .
    we don't want you gone . . ^^

    think about it . . looool^^
     
  20. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Flashbacks and nightmares are your brain's way of telling you that you need to deal with these issues before you can move on and be healthy and happy. I believe that there are some therapists who deal specifically with this type of behavior. I bet hypnotherapy would do you a great deal of good. A therapist would probably take you back to the incident, but in a controlled and safe environment. This way, you could deal with the experience on YOUR terms, and once you are able to do that, I would bet that the flashbacks and nightmares will finally start to subside. Don't give up!
     
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