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im realist no matter what :)

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by asking_advice, Jan 23, 2012.

  1. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    im fine today than yesterday. im myself again. i can fight now the negative thinking unlike a few days ago. i know i will not stay like this forever. i dont know if tomorrow or next week. i'll be suicidal again. i cant do anything about it. i should accept it no matter what instead deny that i have this kind of situation in my life. at least i accept the things so it lesser my baggage even it's not easy.

    i went to other forum and made diary about my emotion how change but no one paid attention. they cant understand what i am going through because that is not a suicide forum. im Filipina and cant speak fluently in english well but i can say. people who try to help in my difficult times are Americans, Indian, and Canadian.

    usually, i dont judge a person by look, nationality, gender, etc. but through time because before you know who really a person is. it takes time. sometimes i forgot how i see things if negative thinking occupy my mind and emotion.

    welcome to my diary that sometimes weird, happy, sad but still trying to be realist :)
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 23, 2012
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I'm glad that you are feeling better today. That's good that you are able to fight the negative thinking. I think that your English is fine and I can understand it well. I hope you continue to post entries and let us know how you are doing. It's nice reading your postings. :biggrin:
  3. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    thank you for visiting my diary.
    im fine now but i dont know until when. the best i can do. enjoy my stable mind. dont think the future. no matter what, i can stop it :)
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    That's right, just enjoy your good mood and I hope it lasts a lot longer for you :hugtackles:
  5. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    thank you for visiting my diary.


    actually, my good mood now is disappear slowly but not in the point im in the suicidal thinking again. i hope it will gone and start to have a normal mood. im trying to do my best to make myself happy. thinking happy thoughts, see things through my brain. not through my emotion.

    it's not easy. sitting around all day waiting for next semester so i can study again and have a normal social life rather talking people on net that i know care for me but i can't ask them "let's hang out" because they are in the other side of the earth.

    im hoping one day, i can be contented whenever situation i am. i believe if i can stop thinking happiness outside from myself. it is the time when i dont need to be sad in no reason. i believe that because before im happy where i am. not thinking what others tell me. that was the time. i can think clearly most of the time. i dont have a perfect life then but still. i have contentment.

    what's the wrong with me? im making a little world. if is gone in my life. im also gone and terrible. looking for that kind of comfort zone.

    i was happy before because what inside in my mind. really happening around me. it's like a dream come true. it's gone again.

    a world i want. having people around me, talking to them, enjoy life, make things productive for myself and other people. it's hard for me to be happy on my own. i need that kind of comfort zone.

    im extrovert. i was introvert.

    i changed myself for the better. it makes me happy. everything in this life has other side or what other people call it "consequence".

    an extrovert. feel sad if she/he is always alone and not connected.
    an introvert. feel suffocated with other people.

    by the way that is my definition. this is my diary so i can do what i want to as long i dont hurt other members.

    i hope i can be happy, feel the alertness, positive aura, content with or without other people.
  6. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    i want to binge. i want to release this emotion. i think im going to be suicidal again :(
  7. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    i hope i found peace while im sleeping