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I'm really lonely

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by estrellaloca428, Oct 22, 2012.

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  1. estrellaloca428

    estrellaloca428 New Member

    I'm so lonely. I'm a freshmen in college, and it's getting harder and harder to live without my parents and my big sister. She always brought me back when I was feeling down.

    I've tried to commit suicide before. <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> I tried to breath in water and passed out, and I woke up an hour later. I still don't know how I lived through that.

    My roommate is in my group of friends, but she won't talk to me. I keep finding out about secrets she's keeping from me, and then when I ask her she tells me she thought I would get mad at her, but I've never gotten mad at her for anything. I don't know what I did to make her think that I was such an angry person.

    Last night, something set me off and I went walking around in the dark. I left at 10:15 and told her I was going to the basement. She told me she went to the basement, but when I was there, she didn't keep looking. I was gone until 12:45 and she never texted me or anything. Does she really care that little about what happens to me? I went across a bridge and kept thinking about how easy it would be for me to just jump off. I keep thinking things would be better if I had.

    I don't really know what I'm looking for in a response, I just needed to get all this pain out.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 22, 2012
  2. smiles

    smiles Member

    hey there estrella. i'm also a freshmen in college and not exactly having the easiest transition... i wanted to say, maybe your roommate just doesn't feel like she needs to check up on you. like, me and my roommate never text eachother to check up on where we are. (and there have been times where i left for a couple of days with no warning.) i guess i could look at it as him not caring about me, but i try to see it as he trusts me... I also wanted to say i'd love to hear from you sometime if youd like to private message me or chat sometime, I'm here for you. I hope things can start getting better for you :) *hugs*
  3. estrellaloca428

    estrellaloca428 New Member

    I think I could try and think about it that way, like maybe she thinks I know what's best and I'll take care of things.
  4. estrellaloca428

    estrellaloca428 New Member

    Thanks for that:) It's nice to know someone's listening.
  5. slcsportschick

    slcsportschick Active Member

    Hey Estrella. I'm here if you ever need to talk. Feel free to PM me. I'm always up for making new friends. I'm grateful that your suicide attempt in the past didn't work. It sounds like it truly is a miracle that you're still here. I know that there is a reason for it.
  6. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    I second the post above me - I'm only a PM away if you ever want to talk...
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