I'm really not happy....

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by AloneInTheDark, Mar 1, 2008.

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  1. AloneInTheDark

    AloneInTheDark Well-Known Member

    First of all, I'm so sorry for ranting again, cause we all know I'm gonna live on cause I'm a coward.

    I feel so down recently, I did herion for the first time 3 weeks ago, I haven't done it since. I did it cause I don't care no more. The new year has been so shit for me.

    I spent new years in A&E getting stitches cause I lost my temper. I got kicked outta two of my houses. I lost my Girlfriend and she said she might be pregnant but won't talk to me now. I lost 2 mates due to petty arguements. I lost my job, I'm £4,000 in debt and to top it all off it looks like I'm going to prison too. 2007 I had everything, 2008, I've lost it all. Typical, only I can fuck up everything when things are so good.

    I'm so sick of it all, I can't handle prison. I can't even control myself in the free world. I feel so sad. What did I do to deserve this? Why do I try to make my life so difficult. Should I just let go, fuck this shit and fly away...

    Take care,
    Be safe,
  2. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Find those pals and apologize to them. If you both understand that the argument was petty and over unimportant shit, then I don't think you'll have a problem patching things up.

    Don't do hard drugs anymore.

    Start looking for a job, pay off that debt and avoid whatever pitfall it was that caused that debt.

    Avoid prison somehow, without going so far as to run from the police. If that means biting the bullet and paying a fine or eating a few years of probation, so be it (I don't know the seriousness of your crime).

    You can try to contact your girl, but don't be pushy about it. Leave her a phone message or email, if she wants to talk to you she will in time. Beyond that, try to sort yourself out first and let extraneous shit like lady-friends take a back seat.

    Don't apologize for ranting, everyone here does from time to time. It often needs to be done, for our own well being anyway.

    And you aren't a coward, in fact you're very strong for carrying on through what has befallen you.
  3. AloneInTheDark

    AloneInTheDark Well-Known Member

    Should I make it easy on myself and let go.... :sad:
  4. nagisa

    nagisa Chat & Forum Buddy Staff Alumni

    No... you shouldn't :hug:
  5. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    no u shouldn't hun. do u know what trigger u to get mad hun?
  6. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hi alone, i also faced prison a few years back, something i feared greatly. as it worked out, the lawyer had my case transferred to a more lenient judge, and made a deal with the DA. i got probation and a huge fine, which i could pay off a little at a time.
    you can't know what will happen when you go to court, you can only hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

    until you go to court, use this time wisely. get some supports in place. read up on depression (i recommend depression: a common sense approach - it's a book my psych nurse gave me, but you can get it at the library). you have had success in the past and i know you will find your way there again but it does take time, hard work, the help of others, and a little love and support.

    i hope you can forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made. it won't be easy but we are only human, making the best decisions we know how to at the moment.

    thinking of you,

  7. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    You could be alot further in debt. There's many solutions out there to get out of debt.

    Also, I'd stay away from drugs... though you may not care about living right now, you might feel better someday and doing drugs for no reason other than not-carage is something you may regret. It won't make you feel any better and will only greaten your problems. Please stay away from drugs. =_=
  8. AloneInTheDark

    AloneInTheDark Well-Known Member

    I got outta court today. It's been referred to crown court. In which the sentencing is a minimum of a year.. I been drunk since i left court at 10:30am... over 12 hours... I don't give a fuck.. I just wanna forget...
  9. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hi alone,

    i understand why you are drinking, believe me, i've been there, but as soon as you are able, please slow down. it can only make things worse, including making suicide more tempting (for some, including me).

    how certain is your lawyer that the minimum sentence will apply? i was facing jail time when at the last minute, on my actual morning in court, in front of the judge, i was switched to another judge sitting in the same court house.

    if jail time is certain please use what time you have before you start your sentence to prepare yourself. we will be there for you when you go in, during, and when you come out.

    you cannot relive the past, and the decisions you made (or circumstances you found yourself in... not knowing your offense makes it hard to say) but i do believe that you made the best decisions you could at the time. it's what we all do.

    as i said before, no matter what happens i hope you can begin to forgive yourself. PM if you want to talk some more,

    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 4, 2008
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