I'm really really lonely

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by smackh2o, Dec 14, 2008.

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  1. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    I've been so alone for nearly two years now. I've tried my hardest. I've got out there and dated. I never liked to think I was a needy person but I think I am. I've been trying to get better for a long time now.
    That comfort zone you get when your going through depression has gone and i'm on the verge of falling back down again. I need help but i've squandered what i've been given. I know I don't really deserve more help but the pain is telling me I need it.
    What am I meant to do?
  2. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    I'm not too good at giving advice at the moment, but just wanted to let ya know that, if it's any consolation, we're all here for you, and that we care :hug: .
    Stay as strong as you can, mate..
  3. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    "I need help but i've squandered what i've been given."

    Don't understand that.
    Don't understand what befell you two years ago.

    I know depression though. I have found it more perplexing and unpredictable as I've gotten older. I am starting to accept this thing as a chronic lifelong condition that just comes and goes. It seems medicine helps but then it will just... stop.

    Wait long enough and like an engine, my brain kicks in again. A wise member recently pronounced me a survivor. Then she repeated it, repeated it, and repeated it showing she wasn't just making me feel good.

    I now sense that I am a fighter and can help others in my battles. Some of my coping mechanisms involve acceptance. For instance I am ready and accept not having love in my life.

    Might be far from the case for you though--have you tried a doctor? Medication?

    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2008
  4. Dear you,

    I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult time. I'm depressed myself and have been for a long time unfortunately, so I think I can relate to your feelings.

    Did you ever consider trying 5-htp? It's a supplement that can help alleviate depression, and you can find it online and also in many stores (wal-mart has it). I used to be really suicidal three months ago. I felt I was lost and that there was nothing I could do to make my life better. Due to obesity and a lack of social skills knowledge (I might have AS -a type of autism-, although that isn't confirmed yet), I was a frequent target of bullying throughout my school years. This shattered my confidence and self esteem, and at 21 years of age I have become an anxious and depressed individual without any confidence. I read about this stuff online around that period and decided to give it a try, and honestly it really helped. I don't feel that suicidal anymore, and the suicidal thoughts that do pass my mind have become more abstract in nature and without the emotional intensity that I used to feel before. To give you an example of how 5-htp has helped me, I used to cry myself to sleep every night, but now I don't cry that much, and even when I do it isn't as bad as it used to be.

    So basically, while this stuff might not cure the depression, it will probably help reduce the symptoms.

    You could also try Kava if you feel anxious a lot (try the real stuff, not the supplements). It really helped me feel more calm, relaxed, and assertive.

    I hope that helps, good luck and please never lose hope. My brother always tells me "where there is a will, there is a way".
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi h2osmack,

    I'm sorry your feeling so lonely:sad: I'm always here if you need to talk :hug:
  6. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    its not about being needy as you said mate, its about wanting to share your life with someone and knowing that someone loves you despite everything else and i can understand that.
    its been a year for me and i have dated but not found i am happy with someone yet, maybe for me its because i have decided i need my own space at the moment.
    don't give up yet, take your time and be patient.
    the same goes for depression, you have shown you are a strong person so hang in there, as someone already said depression comes and goes and it takes time to come to terms with and understand that.
    depression for me is something i have to share my life with, when i am ready i will share it with someone else too, but i am patient.

    be strong
  7. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Hi h2osmack.

    I'm sorry to hear about how you are feeling currently. You do deserve help, if it's of any consolation, you have myself who is here for you if you ever need to talk.
  8. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    If ever you need to talk you can find a willing and friendly ear in me. :hug:
  9. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    I said in an earlier post I came off the pills because I felt 'ready'. I don't like the idea of being on them for the rest of my life. I kinda know this depression isn't going to leave me but i've been fighting it for 2 years with drugs and therapy.
    The girlfriend thing just makes me feel useless and unwanted. It's also christmas and that isn't a good time of year for me.

    I really appreciate the support you guys have given me. It means a lot when your sat on your own wondering if anyone is going to talk to you again.
    I've been thinking of going back on the meds but the first week on them can really mess you up and i've got exams and assignments to do. It's kinda catch 22 over here.
  10. *hug*

    we're here for you.
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