I don't like posting for myself often, or asking for support, but I think right now is a bit of an exception. Long story short, my dad did something stupid a little bit ago that really triggered me and now I have incredible urges to take an OD. I don't think I'll be able to fight them off much longer, it's just too strong. I'm not sure if I want to take enough to kill myself, but I could... It's really tempting. I'm not even afraid of anything right now. I don't know what to do. If I don't act on the urge, it'll probably just get worse. Right now all I want is an overdose, it's all I can think about. I don't think distractions will work this time, I've been desperately trying since I got triggered. I can't go to the hospital or anything right now, it's 10PM at night on Christmas Day, no one could take me. I won't be able to be around anyone who can make sure I stay safe. I just can't trust myself. I want this too bad. I think I might act on the urge soon.