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i'm really trying...

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by nolonger, Mar 22, 2011.

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  1. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    I've written up a kind of letter that I plan on giving to my mum just as I go off to school(so she can read it while I'm at school).

    This is what I've written down:

    There's a probly a shitload of swearing in it but I swear in real life a lot anyway.

    I'm on medication for my skin that has possible side effects of depression(but I think it's the fact that I look like shit, not the meds) so it kind of gave me a reason to tell her this. Although i stated that it wasn't the meds because I've felt this way for years. I also put in the bit about suicidal thoughts because maybe she will take me seriously or something?

    I feel so stupid for doing this because I don't know how much all this is costing....it's all adding up with all these fucking doctors(dermatologist) and medication(I'm on 3 different things for my skin.....). like I'm just wasting all our money.

    so I thought i'd run it by you guys to see what you think.

  2. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    yeah thats quite a bit of swearing :laugh:
    did you ever mention depression to your mom or is this the very first time?
    you described your situation in school well but i think to not making a parent think that your using depression as an execuse for doing bad in school, maybe you could explain how you feel in general a bit more, apart from school.
    well thats what my dad thought when i told him about me being depressed, so i could be wrong and maybe your mom will be completely understanding.
    i hope 2nd will be the case :smile:
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think reaching out to your mother for help is a good thing okay YOu can also phone your gp regular doctor and get on antidepressants but do it okay You will find your grades will increase once you start feeling better hugs
  4. lostbutnotfound

    lostbutnotfound Well-Known Member


    I agree that writing this letter is a really positive thing to do. Maybe Loud Silence has a point though, and it may be worth explaining a bit more about how it impacts you on a whole not just the education side. You have explained how it affects your education really well, but perhaps just a bit more detail on the rest of your life, how it makes you feel a bit more.

    Just a thought anyway :) good luck with your letter :hug:
  5. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    I agree, give her the letter, but dont forget to tell her how much you love her. Tell her that you think going to docs will improve not only your mental state but will also help you in school because with depression you cant focus or keep focus.

    Good Luck.
  6. jota1

    jota1 Well-Known Member

    And maybe tone it down a bit so she does not have a heart attack !

    Good idea to express yourself, sometimes writing down stuff makes it better.
  7. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    thanks for the replies :p

    well it's sorted....the library wasn't open today so I ended up sitting outside writing a bit more to this letter(funnily enough, the extra paragraph contained barely any vulgarities! :laugh:).

    I'll rewrite it tonight(the original has scribbly shit all over it) and chuck it at mum as I walk out the door to school lol(I'm planning on going late tomorrow, avoiding the workplace practices class :mellow:).

    So...wish me luck!!! :unsure: :unsure:
  8. lostbutnotfound

    lostbutnotfound Well-Known Member

    Good luck! :) :hug:
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you do give the letter so open conversation can be started about gettingyou some help hugs:hugtackles:
  10. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Good Luck
  11. Stripe

    Stripe Well-Known Member

    Good Luck. Hope things work out for ya. :smile:
  12. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I hope this goes well for you. Good luck.
  13. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    Well an update:

    I pretty much chucked the letter at the table when I was walking out of the door and said to mum "there's a letter I need you to read". It came out so quickly and she was like "what is it if your running off like that...", she quickly grabbed the letter, I ran out the door, was about 200 metres from home when she came outside and was like "come back!!". I just screamed back "after school!". I didn't know what to expect.

    She must have rung the doctors as soon as I got to school because when I came home, I had an appointment with one at 4:30pm. Dad took me to it. It was a bit of an awkward drive there...I kept feeling like I wanted to turn the shitty radio up so it didn't feel so weird. But atleast with dad he doesn't blab on like mum. Mum always wants us to talk about things with her......I've never felt close to my parents for several reasons. Well the doctors appointment was pretty awkward too....dad was in the room when he was talking to me. When the guy said "So what's the problem?" all I could think of was "depression and stuff...", but I guess most teenagers talk like that anyway. That was followed by "So why do you feel depressed? what life factors make you feel bad?" I said I don't know. Well I didn't really. He was then like "well there must be something...well ok...so what is school like? do you like it?" Of course I answered with no, it's crap. Then there was stuff like "friends? do you have many friends?" No. "trouble sleeping? going to or getting out?" going to sleep mainly. "What about eating/diet?" yea its a bit dodgy. "what are your grades like?" um...getting crap..(that's when dad chimed in and said that they've probly actually gotten worse than wat they used to be). He asked what my plans were for the next couple of years, whether I wanted to go to uni eventually or TAFE or something. I said I don't really know what i want to do. And its true...I have no fucking idea. Whether I had a suicide plan or not/if I had thought about it. I said I had thought about it. He wrote down that I had no plans but had thought of suicide, that tends to change though.

    Anyway, he eventually gave us a referal to an 'adolescent psychiatrist'. The guy he gave us is apparently one of the best in my city and he's know him for a couple of decades...only downside is that the fucking wait time is about 3 months.....so that's a bit of a massive fail. Like no wonder people end up killing themselves hey? They have to wait like 3 months for some appointment thing when we can barely see a day ahead...and for people my age 'talking therapies' seem more effective, medication is usually used for older people but somethings can be administered if needed(wouldn't be surprised if I end up going on something). My dermatologist also said to stop the meds for now, but she said she wants to get me on them as soon as she can. I hope I don't have to wait 3 months to go back on it....

    While I was at school, my chemistry and maths teacher also rang home....My chemistry teacher originally was calling from the staffroom about my lack of doing homework. The maths teacher was in the room at the same time so obviously overheard him talking to my mum and then decided to mention I was also doing crap on my maths(i got a D on that exam...). It's actually funny trying to imagine what the situation would have been like...having my maths teacher go "oh and dont hang up! i need to speak to his mum aswell." or maybe they just put the phone on speaker? LOL.

    So I guess not a shitload has changed. Atleast people(my teacher/parents) will know why I start failing badly if it happens.
  14. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    that is a good thing your teachers now know why you are not doing so well.
    Ask your parents to phone the pdoc okay office and get on t he cancellation list there if someone calls in sick they will call you okay i am glad you will be getting the help you need Good for you for reaching out and being so strong hugs
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