I've written up a kind of letter that I plan on giving to my mum just as I go off to school(so she can read it while I'm at school).
This is what I've written down:
There's a probly a shitload of swearing in it but I swear in real life a lot anyway.
I'm on medication for my skin that has possible side effects of depression(but I think it's the fact that I look like shit, not the meds) so it kind of gave me a reason to tell her this. Although i stated that it wasn't the meds because I've felt this way for years. I also put in the bit about suicidal thoughts because maybe she will take me seriously or something?
I feel so stupid for doing this because I don't know how much all this is costing....it's all adding up with all these fucking doctors(dermatologist) and medication(I'm on 3 different things for my skin.....). like I'm just wasting all our money.
so I thought i'd run it by you guys to see what you think.
thanks
This is what I've written down:
"I thought it would be easiest to bring this up in a letter than to randomly talk to you about it.
Anyway, I've been experiencing mental problems for a few years. I've felt depressed for a very long time. To the point where I don't remember being happy. This is in addition to the thoughts of suicide that don't go away. They're always there. My grades are starting to slide. Well they already have. I'm fairly certain that I'll fail Maths, but I should be able to get a transfer to Maths A when I do crap on an exam. I got a C in the Chemistry test, so that's a pass. English is one massive waste of fucking time. I'm probably doing fairly crap in that class too. I have no idea how I'm going in Biology, but Graphics has become worse. The teacher is some annoying-as-fuck British guy that is filling in for a teacher that's on long service leave. In a nutshell, school is a shit storm. I couldn't be fucked going because of that amount of horseshit we end up doing. I also can't concentrate easily. I end up remembering nothing or small fragments from the lesson, if I'm lucky. I don't know if I've ever bothered paying attention. It all just seems like a load of pointless shit. And it is. I also have problems with anxiety that lead me to not doing some things.
This isn't a side effect of the Roaccutane. It's been around for ages. I couldn't give a shit about much anymore. School's getting fucked up, and I don't care. They could easily half the attendance rate and cut out all the stupid shit we have to do(some classes are ridiculous). The 'Workplace Practices' class is useless as I don't even fucking want the certificate. If I didn't do that class I wouldn't have to do work experience(another thing I don't want to do). But of course, the only thing the school gives a flying fuck about is getting all the students a certificate with a 100% 'success rate'. School becomes redundant by about grade 9. Even though they repeat what you learned in primary school in the first few years.
I was just saying this if we could go to the doctors to get something for depression/anxiety sometime soon.
Mac."
Anyway, I've been experiencing mental problems for a few years. I've felt depressed for a very long time. To the point where I don't remember being happy. This is in addition to the thoughts of suicide that don't go away. They're always there. My grades are starting to slide. Well they already have. I'm fairly certain that I'll fail Maths, but I should be able to get a transfer to Maths A when I do crap on an exam. I got a C in the Chemistry test, so that's a pass. English is one massive waste of fucking time. I'm probably doing fairly crap in that class too. I have no idea how I'm going in Biology, but Graphics has become worse. The teacher is some annoying-as-fuck British guy that is filling in for a teacher that's on long service leave. In a nutshell, school is a shit storm. I couldn't be fucked going because of that amount of horseshit we end up doing. I also can't concentrate easily. I end up remembering nothing or small fragments from the lesson, if I'm lucky. I don't know if I've ever bothered paying attention. It all just seems like a load of pointless shit. And it is. I also have problems with anxiety that lead me to not doing some things.
This isn't a side effect of the Roaccutane. It's been around for ages. I couldn't give a shit about much anymore. School's getting fucked up, and I don't care. They could easily half the attendance rate and cut out all the stupid shit we have to do(some classes are ridiculous). The 'Workplace Practices' class is useless as I don't even fucking want the certificate. If I didn't do that class I wouldn't have to do work experience(another thing I don't want to do). But of course, the only thing the school gives a flying fuck about is getting all the students a certificate with a 100% 'success rate'. School becomes redundant by about grade 9. Even though they repeat what you learned in primary school in the first few years.
I was just saying this if we could go to the doctors to get something for depression/anxiety sometime soon.
Mac."
I'm on medication for my skin that has possible side effects of depression(but I think it's the fact that I look like shit, not the meds) so it kind of gave me a reason to tell her this. Although i stated that it wasn't the meds because I've felt this way for years. I also put in the bit about suicidal thoughts because maybe she will take me seriously or something?
I feel so stupid for doing this because I don't know how much all this is costing....it's all adding up with all these fucking doctors(dermatologist) and medication(I'm on 3 different things for my skin.....). like I'm just wasting all our money.
so I thought i'd run it by you guys to see what you think.
thanks