I'm really wanting to kill myself

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by The Depressed Puppy, Feb 3, 2014.

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  1. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    ***My other thread got delete to due the move***

    I just don't get it. First my friend "made-up" with me, but since that? She seems really annoyed with, she keeps making excuses for not seeing me in the halls, & worst of all she seems embarrassed of me. I never have anyone to talk in school, I always need a teacher to put me in a group with someone, or the teacher helps me. Barely no one will talk to me on there own. I am always alone in my classes.Sometimes people will talk to me, & then make fun of me after, & laugh. Today this kid started being mean, & a few people started laughing.

    It isn't even at school. I was at super bowl party with my neighbors, & most of younger kids(10 & under), somewhat want to play with me. When they saw my other neighbor,my age. They all ran up to her, & usually made more attention to her.All of the adults seemed to like her better, they talk to her more, treat her older. They treat me younger.

    If i was gone I bet people won't be devaste, & they would quickly get over it, some will probaly not even care.

    I was seriously contemplating suicide this morning, I had really strong suicidal thought. I was hoping my parents wouldn't be home today, they were. I wish they were, because I would of probably went through with my plan.I can not remeber the last time I was happy, or enjoyed life, or didn't want to kill myself. I do not enjoy life, & all my thought are of death, & suicide
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun i am sorry the kids are so mean to you i know how hard that is Is there a councilor at your school you can talk to about how sad you are and how the kids are making you feel
    Your parents would miss you they would do they know how sad you are they can get you some help if you tell them
    People can be cruel but they also can be kind ok please talk to someone you trust so you can get the help that is there ok
  3. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    I feel like it all started after my friend didn't want to be friends with me/is embarrassed to be with me.
  4. antelope

    antelope Member

    Hang on a second... this school isn't your life. You are you. School is just a temporary thing that you use to equip yourself with the tools to move forward. I understand what it feels like to feel outside of the group. To see that other people are disparaging you. Remember though that all those people are in the same school as you. Many will be just going along with whatever some dickhead says, in order to try and stay in with the crowd. Most are as insecure as you. Trying to find an identity. Not sure where their strengths lie. Full of self doubt. Don't be fooled into thinking that you're somehow at the bottom the heap. You're not. You're you. And just what the hell is so wrong with that?

    What you do and who you are is unique, so be quietly proud of that.. not in an arrogant way, but in a way where you know you have your basket of skills, and others have theirs. And maybe the problem lies with those others, 'cos they know what they are even less than you do! You're all in the same game.. finding yourself and identifying a way forward and a bright new life for yourself.. you can do or be so many things. Let yourself blossom, and help those who criticise you because they are so afraid, to see what they can be too!
  5. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    I'll be forever alone, I'll never find someone who loves me.Peole were talking about Prom, saying they'll
    ask someone, or they are going with someone. Not going to happen:(

    Maybe if I was gone before prom,it will be better. No one at school will care,none of my neighbors would, people in my family wouldn't.
  6. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    It just breaks my heart a hundred times over to hear you say this... Is there anybody that you'd like to go with? Do you think you could ask them? There's still time to find someone. Don't give up! There's hope. I know this doesn't help one iota, but I went to prom & it wasn't "All That" (at all)! :)
  7. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    Yes, I like him a lot. He is lunch,& thats the only place I can see him. I am just terrified to ask him, & I don't want to be rejected. I am really shy, & have really not talked to him.He seems really funny, & nice, but who knows, especially when he meets me.

    I feel like he'll reject me, or just go so he has a date, or he'll ditch me.
  8. mark b

    mark b Well-Known Member

    There is only one way to find out.. Ask!

    Do be positive as you do it and friendly too.
  9. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I'm sorry that people aren't very kind to you. I didn't have many friends in school, and still don't, really. But I'd rather have true friends than those who would treat me badly. You deserve kindness and respect, and I hope you will find those who will be good to you. I know that rejection can be scary, but sometimes you have to take a risk and see what happens. I hope that things will start to get better for you soon.
  10. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Maybe you could start by just introducing yourself when you see him at lunch. Say, "hi!" :) And go from there... Tell him you think he's funny or got a good sense of humor or that he should be a comedian. Ask him what kinds of sports he likes--or movies / music, etc. Who are his favorite teachers? Who does he not care for? And why? How does he like the food on that particular day? Ahh... You get the drift; I'm not much of a conversationalist! HA.;) ...anyway don't listen to me, I'm sure you'll do ten times better, but above all else--be yourself.:D This is the key. And once you start to get to know him, maybe you'll see if you like him more and less (or just as much) as you did before (meeting him). Don't think of all that can go wrong. Look at what might turn out right. And if it doesn't? Then it wasn't meant to be! Simple. (ok it's super not, but you hear me, I hope) If you don't feel strong enough or good enough about doing it, then don't. It's just an idea. :) No pressure.
  11. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    So you know my friend that did this to me. Well, she told me face to face that I'm really annoting,& few other things:( She said this loud. I feel like she wants to be "cool",& popular,& have a ton of friends

    I'm starting to think that's why. She wants to reject me to have better,& more popular friends.

    Right, I just don't see the point in living, suicide sounds wonderful right now. I dong want to try one bit anymore. I really want to give up right now.
  12. mark b

    mark b Well-Known Member

    Your friend isnt reall your fruend to behave like tgus.

    You need to ignore her comments and link up with some new buddies instead.
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