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im really worried about my mum and dont know what to do

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Sammon, Jul 15, 2008.

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  1. Sammon

    Sammon Member

    I turned 15 yesterday, mybrother is 11 today and my sister is nearly 7. for the past 7 or 8 years my mum has been with this man. about 5 or 6 years ago he started getting abusive emotionally and physically at first it was only towards my mum but gradually i started getting dragged into the arguements. Recently he has moved out but is still around alot because of my little sister who is his daughter. i try and avoid him but it is impossible because my mum will get me to go downstairs to do something. he hasnt been round as much these past couple of weeks.

    But the real reason i have posted is because i am really worried about my mum.

    she is diabetic but doesnt look after herself properly, like takingher jabs when she is meant to and eating the right amount. she will usually only eat dinner but alot of the time will throw away most of it. she is always shouting at mybrother, sister and me and sometimes gets violent towards me. She drinks way too much. On a normal night she will pick my brother and sister up fromschool, get back and have a pint of cider then another two after that. Then around dinner time she will move onto wine and have about three glasses of that then around 9 she will move onto sherry till she goes to bed which usually means about 5 glasses. She will often have a hypo in the morning which is life threatening if she isnt helped quickly after it has started.

    One morning two years ago now was the worst hypo she has had. i didnt wake up soon enough and she groans when she is having one. my next door neighbours heard and called the police and ambulance because they thught it was somethin serious to do with my mums partener. evntually i woke up and heard people calling went downstairs and opened the door and let them in.

    the police sat and talked to me while the paramedics saw to my mum. I found out when they were about to go after everythingwas ok that my mum was unconsious when they found her and it was lucky i woke up when i did because if it had been two minutes later my mum would have probably been dead.

    Then i had to go to school that day but didnt tell anyone what happened just got on with it. i have never 4given myself for that.

    I am scared that if she carries on the way she is eventually the same thing will happen but she will die from it.

    A close friend suggested i should confront her about her excess drinking and lack of eating but i am scarred that she will just get really anoyed with me for trying to tell her what to do or something.

    Should i tell a teacher at school tomorrow and see what they suggest?? Or could that make things worse aswell??

    Anyone with any thoughts on what i should do please tell me

    Please help!
  2. You have a TERRIBLY HEAVY burden on your wee shoulders! Do not think of carrying it all by yourself! No one should - no matter their age (and even experience). PLEASE make an appointment with your school counsellor as soon as possible - and mark that it WILL be a journey - but the first steps matter SO much!!! This is far more complex than you - even with ALL your good will - can find a remedy to. Do not stop at one resource - though your school counsellor made indeed guide you in the direction of others. Truly - #1 is that YOU are ok...one cannot give from an empty cup. Nor should you be expected to! And do NOT relent with your counsellor - that is precisely what they are there for...

    My heart goes out to you...

  3. SweetSurrender

    SweetSurrender Well-Known Member

    I absolutely agree with the above post, this is big load of responsibility you are taking upon yourself and unfortunately a responsibility that is not really yours. Afterall it is your mum who decides how much she drinks and eats, you cannot blame yourself for not waking up early enough in the morning - it is not your fault. I think it would be a good idea to talk to an adult at school, a teacher or guidence counsellor - they will be able to talk through ideas, or at least give you someone to off-load all this too. It is probable your mum is drinking so much because of the stress etc that she has been put under from the abuse she has had to endure for the last few years. It is probably her coping method. But not a healthy one. I would talk through it with an adult at school, i understand your concern about talking to her. Normally i would encourage people to be open and honest but in this circumstance it is possible your mum won't be able to understand you are speaking through concern not judgement. Please keep yourself safe, if you feel unsafe at any time you need to get yourself out of the house and tell an appropriate adult. I'm sorry you are having to go through all this. take care.
  4. Sammon

    Sammon Member

    thanks for the advice but what i dont want to happen is for the school to ring my mum because i think they have to. they have in the past for certain things anyway and then my mum would know i have gone behind her back.
  5. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    I think you should talk to someone at school, because it feels so much better getting it off your chest. When I finally found the courage (with the help of a friend) to talk to someone, I found that they would only ring mum if I was in danger/a danger to myself. So yes, they have to in that kind of situation, but I found I could just talk and relax for a bit. I think you could really benefit from it. I know I did, and it's a shame I left school, because I really miss it, and I have no one to talk to now really. And IF they do ring her, it might be a wake up call, and she might just see how much you are worried for her. It's not easy, but it's worth it in the end.

    Take care, and you can always PM me :)

  6. blade

    blade Well-Known Member

    FoundAndLost1 <<< me too agree! xox i think you should tell some one, keeping it to ur self will be a lot of pressure u wont be able to take it ur self, tell someone darl, someone u trust and stuff, good luck darl xox!
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You are talking about your mothers life here. If she gets angry that you talked to someone about your fears, so be it. At least she is still alive to get angry. You could also talk to her doctor. They would be interested in knowing how she is caring for herself as they have to prescribe the insulin she may need. Don't try to do this alone. I am sorry you are having to deal with such a large piece of responsibility at such a young age. Please remember to take care of yourself. :hug:
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