im realy struggling today

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by silverhalo, Apr 8, 2007.

  1. silverhalo

    silverhalo Active Member

    what with it being the easter weekend and i was also at a funeral of a close friend on thursday and have had a few drinks over the last few days so im feeling pretty low right now and thinking of my wife a lot, god i miss her so much
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    It's natural that things are so hard for you.

    Could you maybe try writing to her? It might help then to burn it and release the ashes, almost as a symbol that she will get the letter/poem/whatever you write. Or maybe doing something else similar.

    Do you have anyone to keep you company right now?

    Hang in there and keep posting

    Take care of yourself
  3. silverhalo

    silverhalo Active Member

    i have my two kids here with me but i wish i could be there more for them but i feel so selfish just now
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Could you maybe do something with your kids? Maybe it might help you.

    Everyone needs to focus on themselves every now and then, as long as your kids don't suffer for it there is no problem with it.

    Have you had/got any professional help to help you with your grief?
  5. silverhalo

    silverhalo Active Member

    im attending a group called petal every wednesday who deal with traumatic loss. i did what you said and wrote a letter to my wife and burnt it in the back garden, my brother had my kids for a couple of days there to give me some time on my own but its a double edged sword.I just feel so sad and lonely at the moment
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Aw honey.

    I have no words to make it easier, or better. Grieving is such a personal and incredibly hard process. I've been there, and done it. Not in the same circumstances, but I have lost people that meant the world to me.

    Maybe the help and support you are getting now is not enough. So maybe you could think about therapy, bereavement therapy maybe. That will help you in ways a support group can't, the same way that a support group can help you in ways therapy can't. There are benefits to both, so maybe it might be worth trying to get the benefits of both.

    I know this reply is probably not a very helpful reply, but you can feel free to PM me any time if you need to chat.

    Take care of yourself and keep fighting.
  7. silverhalo

    silverhalo Active Member

    i will look into that and thanks for replying to my thread
  8. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member


    Anytime honey

    Take care of yourself and your kids.
  9. silverhalo

    silverhalo Active Member

    thanks im doing my best but its realy difficult, thankfully im not suffering the way my wife was in her mind but i couldnt go on with this feeling of emptyness in my stomach for the rest of my days
  10. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Your wife was clearly ill, and it's tragic that her illness has affected you all so much, her included.

    Hopefully you won't feel empty forever. Hopefully as you work through the grief process you will start to lose the empty feeling.

    I say hopefully because I don't know for sure. But I certainly do hope that things start to feel better for you soon, and for your kids. You must be in unimaginable pain, and no one deserves that.

    I really do hope that things do ease for you.
  11. silverhalo

    silverhalo Active Member

    i just miss her so much and all her little things she said and did she/we didnt deserve this to happen.
    Why does life have to be so cruel ?
  12. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry that life has been so cruel to you all. No one deserves that pain.

    Would you like to tell us about your wife? I don't know if you have said anything about her before, but maybe it might help you to talk about her at the moment. It might not, that is your call, and whatever you decide is ok.
  13. silverhalo

    silverhalo Active Member

    sadly she had been suffering from bulimia for 6 years and didnt tell me until the day she died and by that time it was to late for me to help her and that along with post natal depression took its toll
  14. Matty321

    Matty321 Well-Known Member

    Scum, you're a beautiful person...

    and Halo, I am so torured this way, too.

    My bro, my only sibling shot himself last June with an AK. My older bro.

    I feel like life is no fun anymore. I feel like a sick person. LIke I could crack sometimes.

    I feel ugly and dark about it and so very stingingly alone. No one seems to get what happened to me that day.

    So I come here now to be with someone who might.

    I take a while replying because I get busy but any time you wanna write to blow off a little steam, I'll always get back to you.