Almost a year ago I got out of a really bad, abusive friendship and it tore me apart. I wanted to die so much, but I never acted on it. I had no strength and no energy. I've been dealing with depression since I was 12 years old and it definitely hasn't been a very easy road. Well this morning I got into a big argument with my parents, words were said and as I was driving to my classes on the interstate, I wanted a car to hit me so bad. I went through all my classes with the same thoughts were processing over and over again. "Who would be sad if I were to end it all? Who would miss me and if they didn't why not? What would they think? Anger, sadness, regret, guilt?" I'm relapsing for sure. I hate myself and what I do to myself. Please help.